


Aquarium Love

by hosiexa



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: (it has a small continuation tho), F/F, a bit of lipseul too, and hyerim cause why not, angst!ending, hyewon, lipsoul, mafia!loona
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:46:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26948446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hosiexa/pseuds/hosiexa
Summary: For Jungeun, living in Loonaville, a California city so small and insignificant that it was barely represented on the maps was bad enough, especially because she was an orphan and had to deal with the public system so closely.However, after an accident involving seals, the local aquarium and a little bit of misinformation, she is obliged to do community service at the place and her supervisor is none other than Jung JinSol, the princess of Loonaville, known for her popularity at Loona High and, of course, because of her parenting with the mayor.The girl doesn't even realize, but JinSoul's arrival in her life has more consequences than just the end of her antisociality, and she finds herself having to deal with the royal trio sitting at her table at lunch every day, while trying to keep her illegal activities a secret.
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu, Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul/Kim Jungeun | Kim Lip, Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Comments: 24
Kudos: 75





	1. Autumn; Jungeun and the water bottle

**Author's Note:**

> hi, guys! this is my 3º work in the loonaverse and I'm excited (tecnically, this is the second project i've ever written with the girls, but the original version is in portuguese). 
> 
> this work belongs to me, you can find the original version on my social spirit's profile, i'm also there as hosiexa. :) it's not complete yet, but i'll have it finished by the time i'm translating it to english, so i hope you enjoy!

There she was, sitting on the backless bench while smiling excessively at her circle of friends, as comfortable under the sun as a queen in her castle. In fact, Jung Jinsol truly was the queen of all Loona High School and no one would dispute such a solemn truth.

Champion of the football team and head of the school newspaper, JinSoul, as she preferred to be called, is the daughter of the governor of California, but her mother and she chose to remain in this small, remote city of us, an ancient village that gradually developed over the years. They live in a huge mansion ten kilometers from the center which show nothing close to simplicity — I know this because I had the opportunity to visit JinSoul's house last year, on her seventeenth birthday, when Ms. Ha insisted on inviting the entire school to her daughter's big birthday party.

I managed to drink a few beers and even steal drinks at the bar, so I didn't consider the night a complete waste of time, unlike Yeojin, who couldn't find her friend all night and came back frustrated to the orphanage.

I looked at JinSoul's table a few feet away, avoiding eating the lunch my supervisor had given me earlier this morning — it tasted like rotten beans when it was supposed to be meatloaf, and I didn't have the money to buy the one from the school — while pretending to hear Choerry complain about her chemistry teacher, who forced her to present a new work on molecules because her original had no content.

Yerim hated the school and any other mandatory institution, just like me; however, of course, for totally different reasons.

Choi Yerim — Choerry, as she forced everyone to call her — is one of my two roommates at the Loonaville orphanage. Daughter of a powerful figure in the Korean society who impregnated a domestic worker and sent his bastard to the other side of the world, just like the letter her mother had left for her in the basket she was placed in when she was a baby said. She had the ridiculous dream of becoming a great singer and being able to find her parents, or at least the maternal part, already starting free singing and dance courses at an early age at the city's arts center and keeping a stage name for herself.

All of this is unnecessary, in my opinion, because I don't believe that girls like us have such chances in life. It's one in a million and, besides, it's a big waste of time that she should be using to get into a good college, like me.

However, I avoided talking about it in front of Yerim, but more out of compassion than anything else. We may not be as close now, not as we were before, a year ago, but Yerim remains part of my family in a strange and fucked up way. I don't like to see her sad because the way she mumbles when she cries is irritating enough to make me lose my temper. So I try.

"And he told me to collect gasoline samples from all stations in the city and then make a detailed report of their compositions, comparing them with the one he gave me, which is the correct one. Like, do you know how many gas stations there are in the city? Five!" She moved her arms exaggeratedly while talking and it made me sick. "I'll miss about three dance classes, at least!"

"So don't do it, simple as that," I said, picking up the wheat peas wrapped in foil in front of me. I really refuse to call that a meatloaf. That thing had nothing to do with a meatloaf.

"Are you crazy?! This work is worth almost seventy percent of the final grade! I will fail for certain if I-"

"Then skip the dance classes. Period,” I interrupted, already irritated, although my emotional lack of control was not entirely Yerim's fault; I was freaking out because of my own chemistry assignment, pages and pages of a report on a class we never had. _Amazing._

I watched Yerim sigh loudly before turning my attention once more to the golden girl, who was laughing at something that her best friend, Son Hyejoo, was saying in Sign Language.

It was so cliché that JinSoul had learned the language just to be able to communicate with the new girl in the class when she was eight, like any of Nicholas Sparks' novels.

"You should stop this chase, you know. JinSoul never did anything bad to you," Yerim commented when she noticed to who my gaze was directed for. Sometimes she talked too much.

"And you should mind your own business," I gave up on lunch and tossed the small package in the trash, which just happened to be a few inches away.

"You have no reason to hate her, she never did anything to you! Not on purpose, I think. She's a lovely person, you know?"

"Choerry, shut up," I rolled my eyes, wishing I had headphones and a cell phone, or an iPod, so I could completely ignore her at the sound of Eurythmics.

"Don't tell me to shut up, I'm older than you," she defended herself.

"Who?"

"I!"

"Who asked you!" I pretended not to see her stubborn expression. "I already told you to stop talking. I'm not in the mood to make conversation now."

It didn't take Choi Yerim ten seconds to speak again.

"Is this still about the school newspaper? Well, Jungeun, it's not her fault if she writes better than you," she insisted again and my blood boiled.

Wrong thing to say. 

"JinSoul writes better than me, as much as you are good at acting," I revolted, losing patience once and for all and ignoring her shocked and indignant face. "Taking classes with her once a week does not make you friends with her, Yerim, nor should it make you choose her over me."

She was about to speak again when I picked up my backpack from the table and pulled it hard, accidentally spilling all the water from the bottle of Yerim over her body. I didn't look back, however, determined to keep walking, although I heard the girl's exaggerated screams and curses, and her dramatic ask for help. After all, it wasn't my fault that the bottle cap was open! And, anyway, my head was spinning a lot now, I wouldn't be of much help.

In the hallway, I heard a comment or two about JinSoul running to help Yerim and even lending her some dry clothes, which made me even more irritated. I couldn't even concentrate on English class, my favorite, because I was feeling _so_ uncomfortable. Even more with that perfect head and that perfect body rotating at an angle of one hundred and eighty degrees to spend ten seconds looking at me and then turning away as if nothing had happened every five minutes.

At the end of the two classes, I was finally more stable, my nerves having calmed down as my brain struggled to understand the new subjects of the semester, and I spent some more time talking with the teacher about the extracurricular project that she had offered me two weeks ago to help me with a college scholarship.

I thought I got rid of JinSoul for the rest of the day, since there were no more classes until tomorrow, but I found the blonde waiting in the hall, standing by the room's door, checking her cell phone screen. Pretending that I hadn't seen her, even though I had, I continued on my way carelessly until my arm was pulled.

"Hey, you're Kimberly, right?" She asked and my gaze automatically went to her hand on my wrist.

"Can you let me go?" I asked and so she did, blushing out of embarrassment.

"I just came to talk to you about what happened earlier, the water thing with Choerry. Why did you do that?"

Why had _I_ done that? It's not like I've done it at all, let alone on purpose! So why the hell was Jung JinSol talking to me like I had?

"Since the two of you are so close now, ask her," I started walking in the opposite direction, not caring if that was the right way to get out of school, but JinSoul quickly reached me and stepped in front of me, forcing me to stop again.

I took a deep breath.

"Uh, I did? Choerry said it was because I was the subject of the conversation you guys were having and you don't like me," I made a mental note to put glue in Yerim's shampoo as soon as I got to the orphanage. What a joke! "You don't like me? Did I do something to you? Look, if it’s my place in the school newspaper, I can talk to-"

"I don't care about what you do. I don't care about _you_ in general,” I interrupted her. "You were chosen because your father is the governor of the state and your mother is the mayor of the city; big deal. I'm even flattered that things like that happen; the whole struggle for people from above to remain at the top, even if unfairly, so that people from below can never rise, even if they have the capacity to do so, because it is not only with me that this happens. And I would appreciate it if you didn't speak to me again, I might not be in a good mood next time."

JinSoul, in fact, did not speak again, her face too surprised to react, allowing me to take the right path this time and get out of that hell at once, only to find an entrance full of teenagers who didn't seem to want to leave school and their precious friends. On the contrary, I really wanted it. Bad.

I didn't even care that I hadn't clarify the situation for JinSoul. We are not even friends and I was sure Yerim had only told the wrong version of the story so that she would continue to get attention, so why should I? JinSoul is not that important, but I still thought about it on my way back to the orphanage.

The orphanage — a medium-sized building, ground floor, large, with white exterior walls and a black roof, and beige and gray interior walls — has the exterior paint peeling off and a chimney falling apart, which smelled of mud and dry grass. It has been intended only for girls since its opening, and all the orphans take twenty minutes to walking to school every day since there is no car. It is at the end of the periphery, in the poorest and most neglected neighborhood of Loonaville, where drug dealers from large cities sell illegal drugs and medicines to residents who have no chance of buying them at the original price. But what many do not know is that the composition of the pills is also nothing original, far from being pure; those who know, ignore it.

I climbed onto the black railing that was placed after an attempted robbery, but which in no way protected the place, just so I wouldn't have to lock the gate properly. I threw the backpack first and then the body. Last time, my supervisor — that's how the social worker who runs the orphanage makes us call her — spent hours complaining to me for not doing it right. So I just don't do it at all anymore.

At the door, Yeojin, the other girl with whom I share the room, was already waiting for me with folded arms and a frown.

"You made unnie cry!" She accused, clearly upset. She is only eleven years old and is commonly called 'brat' or 'kiddo', both nicknames given by me.

Yeojin is shorter than most girls of her age, which makes her look even younger. She is boring and _really_ stubborn.

"I didn't do anything," I passed through her straight to the kitchen, stealing an apple from the basket that Choerry carried under her scowl. By the taste, it had been from the apple tree across the street.

"You can't do that, unnie is family!" She followed me into the bedroom.

That's it. Today was not my day.

"No one here is your family, Yeojin," Grimes, the orphanage supervisor, scolded with her body propped up against the bedroom door and a cold look in her face. The woman had a damn habit of showing up at the most inconvenient times possible. "You are no longer in Korea, child, so stop using these slangs at once," she complained and crawled on her thick heels away from us.

Technically, _no_ , Yeojin is not Korean, but this is a secret that I keep even from Grimes. For the best, of course.

"Hey, kiddo! Have you done your homework yet?" I tried to change the subject because I know how sensitive she is and can't get these issues out of her head. Children don't need this, even if I — in most times — don't like any of them.

"Choerry said she would help me with it later."

"That one doesn't even do hers," I murmured, sitting up on the bed and throwing away the worn, almost colorless sneakers as soon as I took them off.

"But you don't either!"

"That's what I tell her so she doesn't ask to copy from me. Now go and get yours, you little know-it-all," provokingly, I threw my shirt on her head and saw Yeojin run away while shouting about how sweaty my clothes were.

In particular, I never sweated easily, but as I recall, it was the second day I wore that blouse. It is a valid complaint.

I was able to lie down and take a deep breath just for five minutes before Yeojin came back and jumped on the top of my body, hitting her arm and struggling to get out when I retaliated by tickling her belly.

She is an intelligent child, that one. She always has been. She doesn't have many resources to improve her talents, like all Loonaville orphans, but I know that one day she would graduate. I really hope so.

In the end, Yeojin had few doubts in the boring subjects, like Math, and many in the cool ones, like History, and she only left me alone when Grimes shouted for us all to go to the dining room, this around seven at night, for dinner.

"The money from the city came earlier this month, in a larger amount, which means that all of you will get new sneakers," our supervisor commented when I was already finishing my soup. "Tomorrow I'm going to the market."

That extra amount didn't mean much and we all knew it well because Grimes always prioritized the purchase of her new and totally outdated heels and dresses over any real improvement or investment in the orphanage; in the meantime, the rest of us would continue to have three horrible meals a day and worn mattresses. And since no one cared enough about our side of the city or our lives to do something significant — no action or investigation would be done to try to fix things —, none of us did anything but listen and eat.

I just ignored the whole thing, as usual.

Once in the school hallways, the most functional radio news, while changing the books of the day, I heard that some girls would go on a diet, some just to imitate a singer or an actress they loved, or — I almost couldn't believe it — to attract some stupid guy's attention. They refused to eat anything at all for days or almost nothing for weeks to lose weight, in addition to exercising more than their bodies could handle, and it made me think about it for longer than I would like, as now, while making Yeojin's bed so that the child could sleep.

Okay, I always had a small, thin body, but it wasn't by choice. I didn't even have the power to choose **—** but what if I did? Knowing that girls like me go hungry every day, if I were one of those privileged teenagers and totally out of my current reality, would I do the same?

The answer is no, always a big no, I wouldn't do that; I'm sure I wouldn't care how many calories a chocolate muffin has, or if a huge bowl of ice cream would make my body swell. I would just eat it all with no regret because food is life and food give us comfort.

It is so unfair that, while I and the other girls at the orphanage have only one plate of soup and a glass of juice with more water than fruit for dinner, and we want a big meal full of calories and carbohydrates, people who already have it despise it. This makes me furious, truly upset with the stupid mentality that yield to the 'standard of beauty' imposed by society, especially when seeing that humanity is degrading more and more every day and nobody seems to care. Or try to change it.

After all, a simple diet can easily evolve into an eating disorder, which makes the whole thing the most ridiculous in the world.

Well, I couldn't keep thinking about the same thing forever, but my procrastination led me to be the last one in line to shower, making me wait for more than half an hour.

"It's nine o'clock, I want to see everyone in bed!" Grimes shouted to announce the curfew. The woman forced us to sleep early so that we wouldn't be hungry again.

Even though I was late, I was forgiven for wandering around the house after the final hour because I was in the shower, but as soon as I got dressed, I just waited for Yeojin to fall asleep — she liked to sleep with me sometimes — to get up, put on my coat, close the bedroom door and open the window.


	2. Autumn; Jungeun and the Seals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungeun meets seals in the aquarium. It is not good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, guys! yes, i'm back, and i must say that this chapter is rlly short, but i plan on posting another one tomorrow, so it's fine! it was longer, but it got too long so i made two out of one. enjoy!
> 
> ps: my twitter is hosieonthejelly, in case u guys wanna interact

The second night I had to secretly escape from my room again, I accidentally ended up tripping over my own foot, pressing my eyes while cursing myself for the noise I had made. _Stupid me._

"I thought you had stopped doing that," Choerry's voice made me shudder for a moment, but the surprise soon turned to anger and I turned to revolt, having to mentally prevent myself from jumping on Yerim's bed and taking her head off.

What an irritating mania to meddle in the others' lives!

"I never promised anyone anything," I rolled my eyes, taking two cigarettes out of the wallet I kept hidden under the bed and putting them in my pocket.

"You swore!" She accused, being careful to scream in a whisper so Yeojin wouldn't wake up. "You swore you wouldn't go for anything after that-"

"Whoever swears always lies, Yerim," I interrupted, then muttered a good night and left her behind as I threw my body against the bush at the back of the orphanage, climbing the lower rail to get out.

Technically, I'm eighteen, so it is not so wrong for me to smoke, but that is not the real purpose of my leaving — not the only one, at least — and as much as my roommate likes to ignore it, she knows it.

The street was dark, lit by the few poorly distributed poles on the sidewalks, many of them failing due to the advanced age of the light-emitting diodes, and there was a little fog thanks to the cold of dawn. I regretted not bringing a thicker coat, or maybe even a blanked, since the first option is missing for all the girls at the orphanage.

Hearing the friction of the worn sole of my sneakers against the dusty track, I headed east until I found a female figure at the end of the street, at the first corner. It was Jo Haseul, my cigarette supplier and escort on needy nights since I was fourteen: a beautiful, mature young woman of nineteen, with eagle eyes and dark brown hair that goes no longer than her shoulders.

She was standing in her brown boots and holding a wad between her fingers. She smiled when she saw me and, unfortunately, I still recognized the same passionate smile from her lips from years ago, regretting it right away.

"I thought you weren't coming today, Kim," she said and spat the tasteless gum on the floor.

"When am I not coming?" I stole her cigarette, putting it between my lips and inhaling once.

"Hm," she murmured, taking another wad out of the front pocket of her pants and lighting it, imitating my next gesture. "I'm not going to accompany you today, prince. I have shipments to receive."

"What, you're already giving up?" I joked, my eyebrows raised and my posture failing because, despite not being authorized to do so, she sometimes joined me in my tasks to ensure that I was quick and safe.

The half smile that Haseul gave me said a lot. "You are the one who only does things for fun between us, Kim. I do adult stuff and I'm full of it today."

"I hate it when you talk like that," I rolled my eyes at her speech, taking a deep breath after finishing her cigarette and then throwing it on the floor, stepping on it to put out the fire. "I have no interest in being an outlaw, Haseul, much less a drug dealer. I want to graduate, go to college. I'm just keeping my word to pay a debt."

"What are you still doing here, then?" She retaliated and I backed away, giving her a goodbye wave as I walked away.

Sometimes, Haseul really knew how to piss me off.

She wants more than anything that I join her in her profession, if what she does to earn money qualifies as a profession, just to have me around forever, and made a point of making innuendo all the times we were together, as if I was going to miraculously change my mind and run away with her. _Love in crime._

But I would never be able to return that feeling, not anymore; not in the way that she wants me to; not after I've frozen her inside me and hidden my feelings so well that I don't even know where they are anymore.

Perhaps in my fifteen years, the height of my rebellion, when I saw no future in this damned city. However, things changed when I entered the second year of high school and my teachers, seeing my student potential, presented me with a totally new reality. I had a chance to leave Loonaville and now that I know it, now that I've blocked all my feelings towards people, I wouldn't waste it, even if it means leaving Haseul and her broken heart behind.

One of the many promises that I have broken.

Zipping up my coat, I left, the dark hood covering my head and my hands being warmed by my sweatshirt pockets. It was around one in the morning now, a cold, raw dawn, with ghostly streets and high-pitched sounds. Nobody was out of their homes after eleven on weekdays, except the imbecile teenagers of the third year who liked to go to the bar because they thought it was super cool to get drunk and be friends with people from all over the state. Typical.

When I was far enough from my neighborhood, I headed northeast of Loonaville, where all the best attractions in the city are, such as the cinema, the amusement park and the aquarium, which today would be my victim spot. I was not at liberty to choose the places I assaulted, and I would not do so if I did; Haseul gave me the information a week before it happened, and they are always silly thefts that I don't even understand.

The first time I did it, for example, a few years ago, I stole a basket of apples from the central market. In the second one, it was a purple bat-shaped pillow from the upholstery shop. And in the most recent one, golf balls from the Eden Club course, a place frequented by wealthy people who know nothing about real life, but that gave me a lot of work, so much work that I only climbed another task a month later, this being that of catch a new arrival of beta fish. Who would get it?!

If I stay quiet and do not question, the service is worth more, so I am already used to blocking any kind of socially correct opinion that will want to censor me in my mind and, nowadays, I'm no longer curious about it. Thereby, the less I owe.

It took me a good hour and a few minutes walking to reach the aquarium, sighing with relief when I saw the big dark blue building and its large illuminated letters flashing in front of me: Aquarium Loonaville, service center and specialization for sea creatures. I climbed the left side wall — the one that was not visible to any security camera — and reached the top with ease, having to climb the second floor wall again and look for the trapdoor that, according to my contacts, should take me to the new section, which was still under construction and, therefore, had empty water tanks with rubber floors, perfect to cushion my fall.

But when I jumped trusting my superiors, it was not the rubber that cushioned my fall, but the cold water that paralyzed my body instantly and I knew I was very, very screwed.

_Shit._

Flashes of light from below and from above the huge glass cage illuminated my vision — as they were not potent, however, they were overshadowed by the lack of natural light and the great amount of water —, which was not good because everything that appeared in front of me was some big fish and a huge bug that I couldn't even identify. He had a fat body, mustaches and bulging eyes.

I doens't matter what it was because I am completely terrified of any sea creature — I didn't go to the beach to get into the water or even the pier and I had never been to the aquarium before —, so I had no reaction but to scream, my voice being reversed into air bubbles in the water, and move as fast as possible.

In response, the creature was also frightened, imitating my movements and accidentally throwing its tail, or legs, I was not sure of what it was, on top of me, making me sink deeper and hit my head on a hard surface. I felt a throbbing pain in the back of my skull and something breaking when my back was pressed hard.

That was such a bad sign.

I pushed myself up as soon as my feet touched the slippery floor and swam to the surface, gluing my arms on the first thing I could find. Unfortunately, the thing had wet skin and a weird texture, and it put its head in my mouth just out of curiosity. I screamed as loudly as I could and threw myself back to find a way out of that nightmare. My feet hit the ground again and I got taller as I tried to run.

My uncoordinated screams had lasted a little longer, until my throat started to hurt.

I fell on the ramp when my knees went against it and sighed in shock, already out of the water. My nose wrinkled with the strong smell of fish and salt that the place exuded and my body started to shiver with both cold and fear, and all I wanted to do was go home, go back to the orphanage. I should have insisted a little more for Haseul to come with me.

Around me, more creatures like the previous two were scattered, some sleeping on artificial stones, some playing in the sand and some swimming in the water. I got up in time to see the one responsible for my initial scare identify me and make a loud, shrill sound, looking directly at me. _Oh, gosh_.

I opened my eyes wide when I realized that the creature was about to come after me and started to run in search of an exit, finding it on the other side of the room, a white door with a handle high up. I stumbled twice before reaching it, falling on the first of them on top of one of the animals and giving to another one a chance to bite my sneakers.

The fat, noisy beast was very close to reaching me when I finally left and I hurried to lock the door behind me, breathing heavily and thanking whoever was listening for letting me out of that nest of snakes alive.

The door — it had a metal plate with 'Seals' written in white letters — took me to a room with dark walls and metal shelves, plus two more doors. The first one I opened showed a freezer with dead fish that made me sick and dizzy, and the other one led to the main corridor of the aquarium's service area. On the central wall, a huge map with the aquarium's perimeter stretched over a blackboard that I soon tried to memorize and locate myself from the information; I was in the west wing and I was supposed to go to the east wing, which was on the other side of the place.

"That's fucking great," I murmured, realizing then that there was something in my head. My hand touched it and my body gave a huge jump when I saw it was moving, but it was already lying on the floor.

Good thing it was just a fish.

The path between the dark walls and the metal shelves was lonely and almost without lighting, if not to mention the flashlight that I happened to find lying on the floor of the starfish section and that I was using so as not to get lost. The smell of salt that seemed to stick to every corner of each wall made it all the more unpleasant, and I couldn't help thinking that no other task could be as uncomfortable as this one was being; it was more boring and exhausting than keeping an eye on the children at the orphanage during Saturday mornings.

The signs on the doors guided me and indicated the path I should follow, since the wing I needed to reach to get the precious beta fish was fixed in my head, but an irritating and new noise similar to the sound of a siren began to bother me.

I opened my eyes wide when I realized that they were _indeed_ sirens. Sirens from a _police_ car.

Unwittingly, my nervous hands dropped the flashlight and the glass shattered on contact, immediately turning off the light. I was in the dark now.

"Shit," I looked around to decide what to do, but there were no more clues visible around so much darkness, just turbids moving due to my pupils' lack of focus and the anxiety that was building in my stomach.

Desperate, I started running without knowing where to go.

 _I couldn't get arrested._ Well, technically, I _can_ be arrested because I'm old enough for that, but that doesn't mean I want to! Or that I can afford to tarnish my name; it would be like saying goodbye to a good college. And, damn it, that wasn't the deal! I cannot leave Yerim and Yeojin alone.

But fate certainly hated me because I ended up bumping into the wall and bruising my head so hard that I fell and passed out. The sirens still shouting, loud and moody.


	3. Autumn; Jungeun and the jail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungeun ends up at the police center and just a few hours later is forced to do volunteer work. It sucks.

Sitting on a cement bench with dirty padding in a cell at the city Police Station while pressing a towel-covered handful of ice over the huge bulge that formed in my head — and that throbbed in pain — was far from being the way I planned to spend the rest of my night, but that's exactly what happened.

To make things worse, the officer on duty, a feisty woman named Kim Hyunjin that seemed to hate, stared at me every half hour for five minutes in a row with a horrible face that told me she hadn't seen the sunlight in days, especially when the doctor from the Health Center who had been called in to assess my condition and my mental situation had disappeared, returned home after the end of her shift.

"Kim Jungeun," the woman shouted, finally opening the lock and letting me out. "Interrogation."

  
Since the Police Station — I used to call it that, but I was always getting scolded because apparently they preferred the term 'Police Center' — was under renovation, many of the rooms, like the interrogation room, were closed and, therefore, everything was being resolved at the reception and in the lobby, which were next to each other.

After what seemed like a decade of waiting for my bored and anxious conscience, Hyunjin pulled me out and made me sit in the chair in front of her messy desk full of paper, hanging up the phone that rang beside her computer to be able to focus.

"You know you broke into private property, right, young lady?" She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Actually, it's a government property, which makes it a public space, which makes the aquarium a public establishment," that the aquarium was a public establishment is, in fact, true, but I had no idea of the veracity of the rest of the things that came out of my mouth. One thing is certain, though: I was willing to say anything to bore the police officer enough until the news of my arrest reached Haseul and Haseul could finally think of a way to get me out of there. "Therefore, it is not a crime to enter it outside business hours."

To my relief, Officer Kim was disconcerted and started looking at the files on the table. If that woman had a California Law booklet that could prove me wrong, I would accept my death at that very moment.

"You were going to steal, weren't you?" Hyunjin didn't look at me when she asked.

"What's in an aquarium to steal?" I played dumb, letting out a tired sigh. "Look, I was just bored."

"Hyunjin," a man called, also in uniform, the credentials displayed on his shirt. "The aquarium report arrived. Nothing has been stolen, but the filter in one of the pools is damaged."

_Those damn seals._

I cowered in the chair under the angry look of the officer and who I imagined to be her partner, but he left quickly when he realized that Hyunjin would take care of the matter alone.

"You know what? The mayor is coming. She's the one who will decide what to do with you, young lady."

And that's how I got even more screwed than I already was.

I bit my lip while making a face, both for the nervousness that made my hands sweat and the pain I felt. Even with the ice, it still felt like someone was hammering specific parts of my skull, making them pulse irritatingly. Dr. Kali said that I was very lucky to have suffered nothing serious, but that I should keep an eye out just to be sure and look for her if something bad happened.

I asked the officers to pass me a puzzle, a magazine, a cup of coffee; literally anything they had available to help me pass the time and distract my mind, but they just gave me a magic cube and that little thing I wouldn't know how to solve even if I was born again. So I had to stay for another twenty-five minutes looking at nothing and complaining about the terrible treatment I was receiving, hoping they would get so tired of me that they would send me away — I didn't receive any attention, though — until a tall and well dressed woman entered the Police Center in precise movements. She wore a light gray dress and held an excessively large bag.

Oh, I knew who _that one_ was.

"I'm here, Hyunjin. What happened?" Ha Sooyoung, the mayor, asked. Ha is her maiden name and everyone knows that she prefers to use it rather than keep her husband's name, Jung Maycom, with the excuse that it is a business matter, when, in fact, the press made a point of informing to the city about her intense disgust for the man in a magazine article during the last elections, which actually helped her to win, much to the surprise of many people.

Following the sequence, a red-haired woman, of short stature and slimmer body appeared in a pastel pink dress and typical black heel. It was Kim Jiwoo, the principal of Loona High School and the woman with whom, and this is also widely known, the mayor had a romantic and sexual relationship. On the husband's back, of course.

Long live adultery!

Jiwoo released the hand of the third girl, a blonde, whom I had not even noticed before, and joined her beloved, standing beside her in front of Hyunjin.

The blonde, owner of long hair and a beautiful and curvy body, was identified by me at the very moment that our eyes met, and I noticed her face swollen with sleep, her lips for the first time free of that ugly lip gloss she usually wore and wrinkled white and blue pajamas; brown slippers and a black overcoat protected her from the cold.

Jung JinSol looked at me with her mouth open when hse noticed my presence there.

"JinSoul," called the mayor. "The aquarium has been invaded. Nothing was stolen, but some equipment in pool three was damaged."

JinSol, taking her eyes off me to place them on her mother, looked distressed. "What? By whom?!"

Hyunjin understood her speech as a cue and stiffened her expression, pointing to the only injured teenager in her waiting room: me.

"This girl right here is the only one to blame," she accused. "She was wandering around the aquarium after closing time."

I rolled my eyes at her exaggeration. It wasn't that serious, right? It was the fault of the monsters who jumped on me and tried to attack me with their weird bodies. They caused the situation to themselves.

I, on the other hand, could have drowned in that shitty place and nobody seemed to care. _Nobody_ cares, that's the truth. The mayor herself, who was supposed to look after all the citizens of the city, looked at me differently, judging me, while JinSol was shy, uncomfortable. Embarrassed.

"Why aren't you locked up?" Sooyoung asked. She definitely didn't like me, but not that I cared because, not to be unfair, the feeling _is_ mutual.

"Wow," the principal intervened, standing in front of me. "That's a little extreme, Yves. She's just a child."

"She broke the law."

"But she didn't steal anything, did she?" JinSol entered the conversation, looking at Hyunjin, who denied it with disgust. "It was probably just an incident. There must be another way to make up for damage done."

"She can do volunteer work," Jiwoo suggested and my mouth opened immediately, shocked.

Was she serious?! Me, Kim Jungeun? Doing volunteer work? This woman must be kidding because there is no parallel reality in which I would do anything else for others, especially for free! It was this stupid 'being selfless' thing that put me in that situation in the first place. My only current assignment at the orphanage was to pick up Yeojin from school and even that I left for Choerry to do.

How the hell would I help take care of an aquarium?!

"The aquarium is in need of a new assistant, she can help me," JinSoul started to smile, happy with the sudden idea, and I wished I could squeeze her dancer neck with my own hands.

I meant to speak, but Director Kim expressed no need for my intervention on her face immediately, or at least tried to, since she was always too cute to show bad feelings, which implied my induced silence, although she was dissatisfied with the situation.

Ha Sooyoung looked reluctant before giving her final answer.

"Very well then. I think the aquarium just got a new employee," in celebration, Director Kim opened a big smile behind her proud eyes and JinSol jumped in happiness, like the child she was.

It was as if the damned mayor knew perfectly well that this was the worst way to punish me.

"That's great. I can't wait,” I said. "Can I go home now?"

Kim Hyunjin crossed her arms before answering, making it clear how strongly she disagreed with the idea of not being able to put me behind bars again. "You are free to go, yes."

"Do you want a ride?" JinSol asked, blinking her eyes in a way that I bet she thought was adorable, placing one hand over the other in anxiety.

"Yeah, I'll pass," I left the cold cloth on the chair and took the coat. I didn't need another second around those people.

"jungeun, what is this?!" Startled, Kim Jiwoo came over to gently touch the wound. "This callus is huge."

"I hit my head against the wall," I explained, taking advantage of the exchange of concerned looks between JinSoul and Jiwoo to walk forward to escape, but thin, extremely white arms prevented me to do so.

"We'll give you a ride," from the way she said it, the mayor gave the impression, _not only the impression_ , but also the certainty, that I had no choice.

And I really didn't have it, so much that I ended up being forced to follow the three of them to the parking lot and share the back seat of the mayor's big, comfortable and frighteningly expensive car — it even smelled like that — with her daughter, who maintained the posture of an excited, but shy girl.

Ha Sooyoung followed my instructions and, on arriving at my street, her lover was startled by the two men who smoked on the first corner.

I almost felt sorry for her. If Director Kim knew how many of them existed in the neighborhood... And the worst part: almost always armed. I can bet her girlfriend doesn't tell her about these despicable details.

"You live here?" JinSoul made herself present, also showing her fear. Her mother, on the other hand, remained steadfast and barely took her eyes out of the way.

She knew well enough the city she rn.

I laughed, amused by the Princess of Loonaville's reaction.

"No, darling. I live there," I pointed to the orphanage seconds before Ha Sooyoung stopped the car in front of the big house.

To make my life even more miserable, Grimes was standing with her arms crossed behind the metal gates, furious with life and ready to kill me as soon as I entered.

May life curse Kim Hyunjin and her big mouth.

"I'm screwed," I murmured.

The mayor looked at me immediately. "Watch your mouth, Kim Jungeun."

Bitting my own tongue, I held on to keep myself from saying some really bad words.

"Good night, Jungeun! See you tomorrow," JinSol wished, sweet as always.

"Yeah, yeah. See you tomorrow," there was nothing good that night and there would be nothing good in the morning either, even a donkey could have predicted, but Jung JinSol was beyond that category and just couldn't read the mess I was in, nor even with Grimes' annoyance right there, in front of her.

I opened the car door and walked away after waving to my Director, having to go around the back to get to the orphanage entrance.

"That _if_ I survive until tomorrow..." I murmured again and waited for the mayor to turn the street and watch her car disappear, only then to go through the already opened gates and find Grimes. I didn't even have time to breathe before my ear was crushed by my supervisor's cold hands. "Ouch! It's hurting! Stop it! Ouch!"

"You stupid girl!" She shouted and, if we had neighbors, since Grimes did not consider the family that lives in a small shack three meters from the orphanage as neighbors, they would have woken up.

I was forced to listen to her indignation speech for two hours straight, hoping that her angry screams wouldn't wake Yeojin and especially Yerim, because if it were the case, I would have to listen to Yerim's complaints as well and no one can stand Choerry when she opens that chatty mouth of hers.

Luckily, only the new girl, the one who had arrived almost a month ago and I still had no idea of what her name was, woke up, running to the sofa to see the reason of all that shouting.

"You are grounded for the rest of your life!" Not that I needed to hear that to know.

In my failure, I decided to take the time to bathe and eat the two toast with jam drizzled over a cup of black coffee — my breakfast — and get ready for school. Grimes forced me to set the table for the rest of the girls and wash the dishes after they ate as the beginning of my punishment, which continued when I had to help bathe the minors and comb their hair.

Choerry slapped my arms and back as soon as she saw me, her brown hair wrapped in a towel and her face still wet. Apparently, the stupid new girl had told her about what happened and now she was furious. Yeojin, on the other hand, being smaller and more innocent, knew only that I had gotten in trouble and didn't look at me until the moment I left her at her classroom door.

As Yerim was from a different class than I was, I managed to nestle in the last row of the line — my usual place — and slept through all the classes of the day, ignoring the existence of Jung JinSol and her curious looks. However, when the three o'clock hit, it was exactly the blonde who woke me up, with a shy smile and anxious eyes.

"You slept all day and missed your break and lunchtime," she said, as if I didn't know it yet. —You can have lunch at the aquarium. Do you want a ride?—

At first, I looked at her genuinely confused, trying to understand the meaning of her words without even knowing where to start. When I finally understood, it was impossible not to laugh at disdain. JinSol could only be kidding.

"Oh, now I get it. You don't really think I'm going to do that community service thing, do you?" The blonde frowned and I took advantage of her distraction to pick up my backpack from the floor and leave the room, rolling my eyes.

She catches up with me before I could reach the door.

"What do you mean? You have to do it!" Her cheeks turned red at the insistence.

The whole situation was simply comical.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, princess, but I have more important things to do."

"No, you don't," I was surprised by her shout. "All seals had to be relocated because of you! I mean, I know it was an accident, but you have to help!"

"Do I? And who's going to make me, dear? You?" I challenged, approaching in threat, maybe a little too much.

JinSol crossed her arms and waited to speak, looking for the right words. "If you don't help, I'll tell my mom and Director Kim about it."

"You wouldn't have the courage," we were so close now that I could feel her breath hitting my face. However, none of us looked away and JinSol remained firm, carrying a pout on her lips and a sturdy posture.

"Then test me!" Her voice failed, but it was not out of fear or hesitation. That was how I realized I was holding on to her waist too tight and forced myself to pull away when JinSol placed her hands on my arms and the warm touch of her soft hands awoke my mind.

I don't like it when people got too close, so I raised my eyebrows and walked away, bitter at the girl's insistence.

"Fine! Argh! But you better buy me lunch or I'll drown your pretty face in the water."

In response to the demand, JinSol smiled excessively and clapped her hands in excitement.

"Yes! Come on, we can't be late."

She grabbed my arm and pulled me down the halls with a route drawn to her car, standing in the school's outdoor parking lot and just waving to her friends — I always saw her saying goodbye with millions of kisses, hugs and promises of calls, or even giving a ride sometimes — before letting go of my hand and unlocking the car.

The number of times she asked me to buckle up made me clench my teeth because, _duh_ , I'm not one of those crazy teenagers who think they're untouchable and like to test the fragility of life, I just wanted to provoke her by being stubborn, which was just fair because she was making me lose a whole afternoon and evening doing something as useless as working in the aquarium.

The car started to move.

"So... Miss. Calahasse said something about the extracurricular project that she was starting with you, may I ask-"

"No," I interrupted, immediately understanding what she was trying to do there. "We won't do that. This thing where you ask about my life; this will not happen. We are not friends, Miss Sunshine. If you want to talk, talk about youself."

"I-I just thought that maybe you wanted to talk about something to pass the time," JinSol explained, focused on the task of driving, although she showed her surprise. "Okay. Well, I can start, yes," her eyes widened in a happy expression. "Oh! Did you know that the election for the winter prom queen is already scheduled? We were told today during the student union meeting and, as it is almost November-" She stops when she sees me opening the small drawer in front of me and looking for something interesting, finding a bar of chocolate with peanuts completely untouched that I soon opened and started to eat, and sunglasses, which I put on my face. JinSoul laughed sweetly. "You don't care about any of those things, do you?"

"Not even a little, princess," I replied, placing a piece of the candy in front of her mouth, willing to share only because, initially, it belonged to her.

To my happiness, JinSol shook her head.

"I don't want to, but thanks."

"What's your problem? It's stupid not to like chocolate. It's like, one of the best things in the world."

"It's not that I don't like it, I love it! But it has a lot of calories and your tone was a little rough, Kimberly."

Offended by her speech, I looked at her in disbelief. "What the hell did you just say?"

"What? I just said your tone was rude," she shared her confused eyes with me and the street.

"That is not what I meant, but it is good to know that you're that kind of person," disgusted, I managed to eat the whole bar alone and remained in a bad mood so that JinSol noticed and wouldn't want to bring up any more matters again. If she did, however, I would end up exploding in any of her kind words.

How dare she ruin the image of the perfect princess that I kept in my conscious mind? Supposedly, she should have vibrations of self-love and that sort of thing to fuel her self-esteem. I was wrong about something and it weighed hard on my ego.

When the blonde maneuvered the car around the aquarium, I hurried out and ignored her presence; JinSol froze in front of the front door for a few seconds with her unreal slowness and then tried to speed up her steps.

In the lobby — an oval room with white walls and a ceiling covered with blue lights and shiny rubber starfish — there was a service desk next to the ticket office and a row of turnstiles for magazines, with two uniformed security guards ready to fight and prevent entry of any metallic or sharp or suspicious object.

If the mayor's daughter was not at my side, I was sure I would be stopped.

JinSol first addressed to who I discovered to be Hyolyn by reading the badge on her uniform, one of the two clerks, and asked her to make the badge for the newest employee; me, showing a paper with the authorization from her mother, the mayor, for that. The tan-skinned girl smiled and made me pose for the three-by-four photo she would use on the object, but they all turned out to be bad because I couldn't concentrate on anything but the crackling sound of the woman's green gum making against her full lips. It was annoying.

During this time, Hyolyn also took the opportunity to make me fill out the registration paperwork and JinSol used this time to get out of sight, making me wait for her for about ten minutes after I finished my tasks in the lobby, the beautiful ten minutes that I seriously thought about getting out of there and going home, but the blonde, dressed in her tight black swimsuit and navy blue and white shirt covering her own badge, appeared seconds before I moved, with two sandwiches wrapped in film, one chocolate muffin and a bottle of juice in her hands.

Smiling happily for the first time in the day, I approached her and took the promised food, throwing it down my throat. The juice, as I had predicted, was my favorite flavor; orange.

If I had known that I would be fed so well, I would have accepted it immediately.

The princess, surprised, widened her eyes and blushed.

"Do you want some?" I offered, but I really wanted her to deny it while I chewed the muffin. Fortunately, she did so. "So undo that pale face of yours because it's starting to irritate me. Are you going to stand there looking at me all day?"

"I... I bought it in the canteen. Sorry, but do you always talk while you eat? Aren't you afraid of, like, food coming out of your mouth?"

"Honey, believe me," I stopped for just a second to swallow. "No food comes out of my mouth unless I want it to."

Yes, with the discomfort presented by JinSol, I even thought about her point of view. The princess had never seen anyone really hungry and of course that when her friends left Physical Education classes, they didn't mean it when they said the phrase 'I'm starving'. _I_ was starving, right there, in front of her. The amount of reality that her brain had today received was enough for the entire week, or even the month, I could feel it, or JinSol would end up collapsing.

"Didn't you want to show me something?" I asked after swallowing the last piece of the sandwich to change the subject and the blonde blinked a few times before answering, taking the wrapping papers out of my hand to throw in the trash. She had wet eyes.

For the first time, I realized that Jung JinSol was someone extremely sensitive and ignorant about what her city really is, how people really are. She seemed to think constantly that unicorns exist and that people can be happy a hundred percent of the time.

"Well," she cleared her throat, resuming her ballet posture and took a deep breath, putting a big smile on her face again. "I think we should start with the fish. They are my favorite thing here!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as promised, i'm back with one more chapter fghjkfghj i'll try to bring u guys another one next week, but idk. i still have to update my yuyeon fic.
> 
> anyway, have a great weekend! 
> 
> my twitter is @hosieonthejelly is anyone wats to say hello <3


	4. Autumn; Jungeun and the lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungeun and JinSoul are starting to be friends, but the orphan ends up at night with Haseul.

Community service turned out not to be as bad as I imagined, nor were JinSol's guidelines. The authoritative tone she used with me to try to protect the crabs that I tried so hard not to step on was really cute. She had become bearable after a few weeks of sharing my afternoons and deserved points for hearing me make a complaint every two minutes and still be quiet about them, always so controlled and patient. Yerim would have already threw something at me, for sure.

JinSoul was playful, but nothing more.

We didn't talk to each other at school, we didn't have lunch together or anything like that. I avoided her, yes; I ignored her when she called my name before leaving for the break and pretended not to see her exaggerated nods in Physical Education, the worst subject in the world that JinSol, curiously, seemed to like a lot.

I was beginning to be forced to pay attention to Jung JinSol and it bothered me deeply: I had to memorize the places where the little princess used to stay at school just to avoid crossing randomly with her; I memorized the faces of her closest friends to avoid being seen by them and let them keep any information about me and, of course, I also memorized the color tone of her hair and the height of her body, to be able to quickly identify her among the other students and _run away._

Something not very honorable, I know, but nothing compared to the other things I had done in my life.

JinSoul's musical taste was _something else_ and it made me sensitive because we were very similar in this respect, so I found out, and it left me in agony. The princess of Loonaville liked to listen to music whenever we cleaned the feed freezer because she believes this was a good distraction from the stench of dead fish and earth, so now she played Green Day on her cell phone speakers while she moved her body over Boulevard of Broken Dreams rhythm while breaking the ice on the shelves. She looked like a child.

"Stop laughing at me!" She sounded irritated after almost falling into one of her invented dance moves.

"Me? I am not laughing at you. I'm not even laughing," I played dumb.

"Kimberly?" She called. "I can see that silly smile of yours from here!"

"I don't smile silly, Jung, that's where your mistake begins," JinSoul rolled her eyes at my speech and I pretended not to see the gracefully discreet smile that her lips formed.

"Can I ask you something?"

I stopped for a moment to look at her. JinSoul, as she had begged me several times to call her, looked shy in her movements, her cheeks pink with embarrassement. She hadn't asked for anything after the 'please help in the aquarium', which had been more of an order than anything else, and was keeping the promise she had made on my first day there, after I fell for her carelessness, to buy my lunch every day.

Not that I owed her anything, but if it was something I could do, maybe I would.

"Ask it and I'll think of the answer."

"We're doing well, I think. You think I'm cool, don't you? Like, we're friends, aren't we? Not friends like Olivia and I, but we're still friends, right?"

Her speech made me laugh and caused me an unusual desire to slap her for making me stop to think about it.

No, I don't consider JinSoul my friend. Haseul is my friend, JinSoul is just an acquaintance, a consequence of my mistake: the fact is clear in my head. However, there, looking at her flushed and hopeful face, I wondered if I'm a bad person enough to show it to her. In contrast, lying seemed unfair.

"Almost that, JinSoul," there is was, a leak in uncertain and indirect words. Apparently, it was enough for the blonde.

"Well, as your _almost that_ ," she dropped her tool on the floor and bounced over to me. Again, too close, as is her custom. The girl really knew how to be invasive without even realizing it. "I was wondering if you can come to my house on Saturday night."

I had to hide my surprise behind the expressionlessness of my features. The request was totally unexpected because, after all, what did she want with it? Why the hell did she expect to see me at her house? And she was careful enough to use the word 'can' and not 'want'.

I raised my eyebrows at her ask for more information.

"Please! Well, it's going to be a slumber party, so you don't even have to worry about getting home. Hyejoo and I will cook a lot of food and we cook very well, I promise. Or we can just order pizza."

"I'll ignore it because I think you have not been in your head these days."

"Kimberly! Please, it will be cool!"

"JinSoul, I dn't go to these things. It's ridiculous, I swear! Not to mention that I am not friends with _your_ friends, what the hell would I do at your house with them?"

"We can watch movies! Or else marathon series. You can choose, I promise. I can even let you sleep in my bed if you want, since we usually sleep on the floor or on the couch. And I can take you home the next day,” she offered, committed to making her victim, me, accept. "If you go, I'll buy whatever you want. Anything at all!"

Assessing my situation — incidentally, being forced to doing so by under her insistent eyes —, I saw that it was not a bad offer. I thought about it when Jung JinSol's automatic playlist started a new song. A Little Death, by The Neighborhood.

I could make good use of an mp3. And a cigarette case. A new coat too. Perhaps there was something good to take from this great sacrifice.

"How many princesses like you will be there?" I asked, suspicious.

"Just Olivia, Chaewon and I."

"That's great," I mumbled, the same phrase repeating itself in my subconscious. _It will be worth it._ "Your credit card better be unlimited, Jung JinSol."

Again, I ignored her usual jumps of joy and subsequent comments about how _amazing_ the night would be. Torture would be a better word, in my opinion, but I would not say anything because the blonde offered to buy the hot chocolate that is sold in the stall in front of the aquarium parking lot when we finished the task.

With the promise of the drink, I tried to rush the task and we managed to clean everything in half an hour. My stomach rumbled in thanks when the hot liquid hit its walls, warming even my brain, and I ended up drinking my supervisor's drink too. 'Too many calories' was the excuse used. And I didn't care if it meant more to me.

JinSoul was about to take me home — after offering it, breaking her mother's rule not to approach the orphanage neighborhood — when I spotted a shadow near McDonalds across the street and recognized it as belonging to Jo Haseul.

I told her that I preferred to walk.

When I arrived at the orphanage, it was about seven at night and many streets in the neighborhood were already dark; the curfew was at eight. It's unusual, but I didn't question Grimes or Choerry about it; I just ate the separate sandwich for myself and swallowed the watery lemon juice. I was tired and could only think about being able to rest.

After showering, I called Yeojin to do my homework, but as the little girl said she had already none it, Grimes thought it would be very convenient to send me on the next street to get more lemons and that was when I finally remembered about Haseul again. That was a good excuse to see her, and the older girl, strangely, was already there when I crossed the asphalt, wearing black leggings and an army print coat, the cigarette lit in her right hand.

Her lips tightened in a tight smile when she saw me.

"You must know what happened to me," I supposed, taking the cigarette from her.

"Yeah, I know. The boss also knows about it, so it's ok," she smiled again and our mouths meet for a few seconds. "I think it was predestined to happen because the information was wrong. The fish we instructed you to steal were alive, but we need the dead ones, that are now with the mayor. You need to find a way to get them, Jungeun."

_Shit._

"With the mayor?" She nodded in agreement. "At the city Hall?"

"No, worse; it's in her house. That damn woman! But since you're so friendly with her pet doll now, it will be easy for you. Won't it, Kim?"

"Easy is not the word I'd use, Haseul," I replied with disgust. "It's just more possible than impossible."

"Splendid," Haseul approached as soon as she swallowed again, blowing the smoke across my face with the proximity. "I haven't received your visit in a long time. Why don't you come back with me?"

I even thought about the proposal, but as soon as I sighed, my body complained of tiredness while the air circulated with intensity. I was in no condition to do anything else that night, although it was not a bad idea to accept Haseul's invitation because I had been a little tense lately.

Therefore, I looked at the floor before aligning our eyes. "I'm a bit tired today, maybe tomorrow?"

Haseul smiled, sensual as always, kissing me once more before walking away.

"I'll wait for you at the apartment tomorrow, as soon as you leave school," she announced, turning to leave.

"I have community service at the aquarium every afternoon after school, Haseul."

The brunette turned, the most convinced expression in the world on her beautiful face.

"I'm sure you're smart enough to get rid of that golden-haired doll at least once, Jungeun," and with that, she disappeared from my view, her shadow blending into the darkness of the street and the smoke from her newborn lit cigarette moving away.

**+++**

Friday. I hated Fridays, unusual as it might sound.

Who in the world would hate a day that you could say goodbye to school, right? But I had a good reason, a _great_ reason. And it had a name and blond hair.

This was the only day I could be free, but, as always, Jung JinSol managed to screw that up too. Now, Fridays would be marked for me forever as the day when the annoying little princess Jung JingSol and her best friends found themselves entitled to interrupt my life and stop me as soon as they saw me in the hallway, minutes after the end of my Biology class, to talk to me, with their smiles on and their hair millimeter perfect and synchronized in position.

"Kimberly, I apologize. I really thought it would be just the four of us, you know? But I found out that Olivia's cousin came to visit the city this weekend with her girlfriend and it would be rude not to invite her too. Youdon't have a problem with that, do you?"

_Yes, I do. Of course I do, you fool_ , was what I wanted to say as an answer, but I knew I would regret it if I acted in warm blood, so I took a deep breath and counted to ten mentally.

Well, from three to five there is not much difference. And I wouldn't find another opportunity as good as that to steal the... _Fish._

"No, I don't," JinSoul automatically smiled and I saw the girl with golden curls, Chaewon, pass the information in sign language to Hyejoo, who smiled satisfied with the news.

"This is really great!"

I left them where they were and went out to the food court, having to go through the crowded cafeteria before sitting down at the table that Choerry had taken. My roommate waved when she saw me, pushing printed paper across my face.

"Yerim!" I complained, taking it from her hand to see what it was. It had an A written in red pen on her History test. "Incredible, you're not stupid," I joked in irony, handing it back to the owner.

"I told you you were a great teacher! Thank you for teaching me the subject," Yerim hugged me, rubbing her test across my face by accident again and released me only when she had me complaining in her arms.

"You forced me, it doesn't count."

"Yes, it does, of course it does."

I took a deep breath when I realized I was being a complete idiot and stroked the girl's shoulder beside me as an implied apology. This week was being long and stressful. My mood and emotional were living from intense changes.

"Wow, Choerry! That's a wonderful result," Jung JinSol's voice sounded very close to us. The blonde placed her tray on the table and hugged the second orphan, clapping her hands as she sat between Yerim and I. "Congratulations!"

Not believing it, I looked at her immediately wishing absurdly that she was kidding me.

_What was she thinking?! Sit with us, like that, without being invited to?!_ And then she put a sandwich and a chocolate-flavored cereal bar in front of me, as well as in front Yerim, who vibrated and thanked her for half a minute.

Well, JinSoul acted convincingly enough to stay, I reckon.

"I can live with that," I murmured, attacking the bar and feeling her smile widen.

In fact, I could live peacefully being blackmailed with food.

Choerry started a very boring conversation about the films that would soon be in the cinema, about the ones that were going on and the ones that had already left, and about how much she would kill in order to watch any of them. JinSoul accompanied her and I found myself watching them, wondering how this socialization could be so natural.

JinSoul managed to be the center of everything without even trying and, at that moment, it didn't bother me because she was stealing my attention too.

I noticed how her hair was not so smooth today. JinSoul had told me that she smoothed it every day, this when she I asked her about the curls that formed after we accidentally fell into a pool while trying to clean the aquarium glass of the starfish. When I asked _why_ she did it, she replied that Jeon Heejin, years ago, had imposed the standard of beauty at school; having a straight hair were among the requirements. And I couldn't help but call her all the ugly names I knew because, how could she be such an influential idiot? Especially when her face was obviously much better with the natural waves circling it.

On this particular day, at school, the curls moved thanks to the draft that hit them.

A satisfied smile escaped my lips, following the girls' exaggerated lines. JinSoul's jaw was well defined as she told Choerry that she could take her to the movies sometime.

"Would you come too, Kimberly?" She asked. Yerim followed her gaze expectantly.

"I can watch anything if you buy me those nachos they sell at the entrance."

"Watch? What, where and when?" Chaewon was suddenly present, Olivia beside her, and they both sat next to my roommate the next second.

My eyebrows went up.

Who said I want them here? Who said they could stay? One spoiled girl was already beyond my limits, but three? That was making me beg for suicide!

I looked at JinSoul and her body shrank, simulating a silent 'sorry' with her lips.

"You did this!" I accused, but only the tallest blonde heard it, since the rest of the girls still discussed which movie we should watch. My head started to pound. "Argh."

I leaned over to pick up JinSoul's water bottle and poured the liquid down my throat. The headache was getting worse. It suddenly occured to me that I had just found the perfect excuse to get rid of my responsibilities for the day.

"JinSoul," I called. "I have a headache killing my brain. I don't know if I can work today."

The Princess of Loonaville looked at me with surreal concern and promptly pulled her backpack from the floor, taking something from inside it and handing it to me. It was a medicine booklet.

"Here, take this. It's okay, you can go home and rest, Kimberly. It would be awful if you got worse and ended up missing Saturday."

"Saturday? What's on Saturday?" Choerry butted in.

I cursed her damn ears and, unfortunately, we had another company for the exciting pajama party.

Frustrated, I got up and decided that I would miss the last two classes that would follow after the break as a reward, not giving much explanation to the company around me when I left them; once far enough away, I pulled on the hood of my coat and pressed myself against the fabric, heading for my destination.

Haseul did not live far. I know her partment was closer to the school than to the orphanage so I didn't have to walk much and ate JinSoul's sandwich on the way. The doorman let me in without even asking anything, quite used to my visits, and I opened the door with the extra key that the hostess used to leave under the dirty and worn carpet.

Jo Haseul's real home was really far from the city, outside California even, thousands of miles away. She preferred to keep her permanent residence away from her illegal activities, where no one was aware of it, not even me, so the tiny apartment she rented near the center was poorly maintained and without much furniture, being filled only with what is necessary to survive, such as a refrigerator, a stove, a television and a sofa.

I didn't find her in her living room, so I went to the bedroom, equipped with the luxurious closed-channel television, the king-size bed and the thick white sheets. This was the only room that Haseul was evidently concerned with spending money on and probably the largest in the house.

Walking to the suite bathroom, I found clothes lying awkwardly on the floor and a gun placed worry-free over a marble sink. Haseul was naked inside the stall, with her bare back turned to me. The hot water fell on her tanned skin without haste, the muscles defined thanks to the continuous movement she made every day, moving gracefully in a comforting bath, while her light brown strands slid down her soaked neck.

She has always been a beautiful woman.

I smiled, letting my own clothes fall and meet hers on the floor, and followed her under the hot water, holding her waist while my mouth touched her neck. Haseul moeaned when my hand found its target and her head tilted back, our bodies rubbing.

I knew that much more awaited for us, such as the various wallets of cigarettes on the bed and the bottles of alcohol that are kept in the closet.

(...)

I was already tired and dizzy from walking when I finally saw the orphanage's iron bars, which I jumped very carefully to make no noise, and it was very complicated due to my frequent imbalance. Forcing myself to pay attention to where I stepped, I went to the bottom of the lot, where my bedroom window was.

When the girls and I went to sleep, we used to leave the window closed due to Yeojin's silly and fertile imagination, that made her insist that monsters would come out of it. But Choerry knew I would need it open to enter the building, so that's how I found it, almost begging me to pass through. And so I did, throwing my backpack first and then my body, longing for a good, deep night's sleep.

Truth be told, Haseul didn't even know that I had left the apartment so late at night, because if she had, she would have accompanied me or ordered a taxi, but I just didn't want to stay overnight or wake her up.

I found Yeojin sleeping on my bed, sprawled on the worn mattress. The cover had fallen from her body, hovering on the floor. I carried her in my arms and placed her on her own bed, then raised the mattress of mine to hide the new cigarette case that Haseul had given me between the wood and the mite.

"Grimes asked about you," Yerim's voice was there, making me jump and look at her.

"Damn it, Yerim!" I screamed in a whisper.

"I said told her that you would sleep at JinSoul's house and that you would only return on Sunday, so find an excuse to explain your presence here to her tomorrow."

"What, do you want me to thank you?"

The lack of lighting prevented us from seeing each other's faces, but I knew that Yerim was red with anger. I saw her shadow rise and walk towards me.

"You smell of alcohol, sex and cigarettes, Jungeun. It's disgusting,” she sounded hateful, emotional as she always was. 'You're drunk, aren't you? You were with _her_."

Choerry? Yeah, she wasn't exactly a fan of Haseul.

"You have to stop meddling in my life, dude."

"Meddling?! I try to help you, Jungeun! But it's a very difficult task when all you do is drive people away and kill yourself more and more, in every way possible. That idiot bring nothing good to your life!"

I simply hated it when Yerim tried to act like a concerned mother with me, criticizing every little action of mine, judging any form of survival I encountered.

My eyes rooled at her pursuit as I ran away from that conversation. We couldn't create an argument now because it was too late and my brain was not stable to provide an adequate response.

"I don't even know how you got here, honestly. Drunk as you are..."

"So pitiful, isn't it? Too bad I'm stuck with _'that idiot'_ until the end of my stay in that damn city. Maybe even a little bit more. Do you want to take my place, Choi Yerim?" Irritated enough not to care about anything else, I ended up exceeding my tone of voice. I just wanted the girl to shut up at once or my head would explode.

Fortunately, Yeojin didn't even move, too deeply asleep to wake up, and Choerry was silent for a few seconds, giving me a chance to use them to lie down and turn my body against the wall, away from her image. It didn't take long for another body to appear on the mattress, lying next to me, her arm around my waist and her face touching the back of my neck.

"Have you notice that she gives you cigarettes, but never food?" She relaxed her voice, but kept talking. Yerim didn't know that she was telling the biggest lie of all, but _I_ knew it and so I ignored it because I didn't want to argue anymore. I owe Haseul a lot, more than I could ever pay her back, but I was the only one who knew that. "It's an empty relationship, Jungeun. You know it."

"I don't have many options at hand, Yerim. You know it,” I sighed, feeling I could pass out easily from tiredness.

"You could see her only when necessary. You could stop looking for her, let go of that addiction, let people get close to you again," she clutched my body in her arms and I felt her skin tremble against mine. "I just don't want you to die, Jungeun, physically or not. Honestly, I don't know which option is worse."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii, guys! hope u liked it and cfhjkghj i'm coming back again this weekend to add one more chapter. fortunately, i'm finishing the original fanfic in portuguese and, when i'm done with it, the updates will happen more often, promise! 
> 
> my tt is hosieonthejelly and i'll be looking for anything u guys might have to say about the story later! <3 have a wonderful week, everyone!


	5. Autumn; Jungeun and the slumber party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a pajama party to attend and something — someone — interrupts Jungeun's plans.

We were standing in front of the huge mansion of Jung JinSol and her mother. Choerry could hardly breathe with nervousness, stagnating with the beauty and magnitude of the place. In fact, every bit of the place looked like it came out of a fairytale movie with double the luxury, impeccable architecture, the care for preserving it clear to any eye. It was really beautiful.

"Very well," Choerry took a deep breath. "This is the day our exile of social anonymity comes to an end, officially," I massaged my own temples when I heard her words. Yerim had really taken it seriously. "Jungeun, ring the bell," she said, looking nervous.

"Yerim, it's literally by your side. You do it!"

"Jungeun, please!" I rolled my eyes, accepting my situation and checking the Hello Kitty wristwatch that Yeojin had put on my wrist earlier so I wouldn't miss the time — it was exactly 5:20 pm — before pushing my partner to the side to press the damn button bell. The high-pitched voice approached the door and it was opened quickly, giving us the vision of a JinSoul quite different from the one I was used to.

Before I knew it, the panic in me was released and many parts of my body, the parts that shouldn't, suffered a high temperature increase.

The city princess wore a naval lace lingerie dress — so tight on her curvaceous body that the details usually hidden, such as the mark of her panties under the garment or the tips of her breasts, since she was without a bra, appeared — blue heels and black lace garter on both legs.

"I think my sexuality has just been questioned," Choerry commented and I cleared my throat loudly, trying to keep my thoughts away. In response, JinSoul smiled and pulled us inside. I saw one of the maids close the door when I looked back, very much wanting to escape that damn punishment that was irrevocably being attracted to Jung JinSol.

In that moment, I hated her more than ever.

"Sorry about that, girls, we're playing a game. It will be fun!" Guaranteed the blonde.

The large living room, with the giant plasma television, the sofa lined with velvet and the chandelier, I imagined, with crystals, was in a declared war zone. Lots of clothes were on the floor, on the stairs and even at the kitchen door, where I spent most of my time at JinSoul's party last year. Pieces of a set of a professional makeup equipment were scattered between the dressers and the table.

I found Olivia standing in front of the television, taking some makeup from a girl with big cheeks that I had never seen in my life. Hyejoo was wearing baby pink pajamas with exaggerated ruffles in both pieces.

"Today is the contrary day, so we have to dress completely the opposite of what we usually use," JinSoul explained. "We're changing our pajamas. I'm with Soojin's, Hyejoo's cousin's girlfriend. She's the one on the chair, Olie is taking off her makeup. It's very sexy, as you can see," her cheeks soon took on the familiar reddish tinge and I wanted to laugh at the way I always ended up screwed, one way or the other; imprisoned for almost two days with high school patricians and their exuberant bodies covered in tiny, thin pieces of clothing. Just _great._

"Whose outfit is Olivia wearing?" Choerry asked and I wondered about her ability to notice anything other than Jung JinSol's marked silhouette facing us well.

"It's Chaewon's. We agreed that they were the opposite of each other, but Hyejoo's outfit is with Soojin, since she hates superheroes and this is my friend's current obsession. Choerry, you can wear Soyeon's clothes and Soyeon can wear yours. It's all matching!" She celebrated as if she had said the most sensible thing in the world. "Kimberly, can you please, please, please, please, lend Chae your pajamas?" Her eyes opened more than necessary in my direction, bright and big. It hurt not to be able to divert mine to more interesting parts of her body.

"I think so," I said, but I hardly paid any attention to the conversation.

"Yay! This is great because we all agree that you should use mine."

And my mind stopped when I realized that life was a real motherfucker with me for making me wear the shirt and shorts set of JinSoul's pajamas, which smelled just like the girl — Chanel nº5 mixed with her natural citrus scent — impregnated in every tiny line for an entire night.

I sighed loudly, frustrated with my reality more than ever, and pulled on my most hidden strength to turn off the light and step away from the mirror next to the unnecessarily wide shower that ran from ceiling to floor. Yerim was waiting for me against the wall of the corridor, in front of the door through which I left. She was already wearing Soyeon's clothes; black sweatpants and a cropped with long sleeves of the same fabric, but silver.

"Choerry," I muttered under my breath. She understood how much I was hating that night.

"Don't even start it, Jungeun, you promised you would try!" She was referring to the previous night when I, tired of hearing her cry, desperately wanting to sleep and bothered by the slight feeling of guilt she had put on me, said I would _try_ to bond. But the word _promise_ was never mentioned.

I tried to ignore her speech and go on with my stubbornness, but the damn feeling throbbed again, like the thinnest of needles pricking my skin, and I uncrossed my arms, meant to keep my word.

"This will not be repeated, you understand?" My eyebrows went up and I frowned when she smiled and put an arm around my shoulders.

"I don't think I've ever worn anything as stylish and expensive as this outfit, it is wonderful," she commented. I stopped to analyze my own clothes, how comfortable they felt against my skin, unlike anything I had inside the closet I shared with my roommates. In fact, our pajamas were beautiful, except that they weren't _ours._

"Look, Yerim, try not to get attached to anything here, okay?" I called out her attention, stopping in the room a few meters away from the heap that the girls had made, taking care to keep the tone of my voice low. "We don't know the development of this story and we must not forget that this is not our common, we are very far from all this."

Choerry didn't seem to take my speech in a good way and her features became irritated.

"That's exactly what I want to forget, Jungeun," her words were cold. "Even though I don't know how long I'll have access to all of this, we deserve that kind of thing. Nice clothes, tasty cardboard food. _Friends,_ " she sighed and I realized that someone was approaching us. Choerry lowered her tone. "Then try to help me make it last as long as possible."

"You're Kimberly, right?" The girl in question had long, straight black hair, just like her cousin, but her eyes, dark as night, differentiated them more than her gummy smile. She was wearing Choerry's purple blouse and yellow shorts with SpongeBob print. "I'm Soyeon, I'm Hye's cousin."

"Nobody calls me Kimberly except JinSoul, you can call me Jungeun," it was no surprise that I hated my birth name.

"Jungeun? It's a nice name," she smiled. "Nice to meet you, Jungeun. It's good not to be the only one disinterested in the girls' 'super exciting' night here," her mockery made me like her already. "I have better views on a super exciting night, if you know what I mean. And, oh! Choerry, Chaewon was looking for-" Before she could finish the sentence, Yerim was gone just for the hope that someone was looking for her. "She's really enjoying it, isn't she?" Soyeon laughed at my companion's rush. I accompanied her.

"Absolutely," we sat on the sofa, both with our feet under our legs. We had things in common, it was obvious, and I was more comfortable having her there. "So, what antics are we going to have to endure today?"

"Our schedule is better than it once was, believe me. Only God knows what I've been put through with these four. We have the entire Twilight saga on DVD, then a round of pizza and sweets and I think they’re planning to talk about something that makes them sensitive and a Truth or Dare before we go to sleep," I wasn’t surprised to see her do the same expression of disgust that I did just for the quote of our itinerary. I wondered, once again, what the hell I was doing there.

I wish Soyeon was wrong, but there wasn't a single person more certain than she. Hyejoo and Chaewon set up the largest of the beds on the floor between the television and a couch with an absurd amount of comforters, and I followed them when they lay down facing the screen. Unluckily for me, Soyeon had abandoned me to lie next to her girlfriend at the right side, while I was at the far left. Choerry was between Soojin and Chaewon, who was talking to my mate while Olivia hugged her waist. Clearly, some larger figure had been planning my wretch more and more vigorously.

"Kimberly?" Called JinSoul, shortly after Eclipse, the third film of the saga, start. I mumbled an answer without even looking at her, keeping my eyes fixed on Bella Swan. "I'm cold, can you hug me?"

Her request made me uncomfortable and it took me some time to return her gaze. As usual, I felt very hot, so I hated being held without the strictest need, especially after having spent an entire night with Yerim crushing me in my tiny bed. Not to mention the fact that Jung JinSol, being an _almost that_ , had no morals to ask for more contact than a handshake, something she had been ignoring with her kisses without warning on my cheek and the times she grabbed my arm to move around in the aquarium.

However, to her satisfaction, my core seemed interested enough to have her body covered with pure lace glued to mine to give her a positive, albeit reluctant, response.

JinSoul clung to me as if she were fraternizing with one of those panda bears drawn on the stickers she insisted on sticking on her school's card. Her skin was truly cold and caused me to collapse a little by coming in contact with my natural high temperature. Her arm went around my waist and her legs grabbed one of mine.

_But what the fuck had I done?_

"You are so warm," she said. Without an answer, she looked back at me. "Are you really enjoying the movie?"

"I hate the Twilight movies."

"Why?" Her eyebrows arched.

"Because I read the books."

The great truth that Stephenie Meyer's fans didn't want to admit was the one that I liked to rub in the face of everyone who approached the subject near m: her book films ruined her works because they were so awful and badly done. While her writing was sensitive, powerful and delivered fiery messages, the live action was poor, boring and overrated. Not only of the Twilight saga, but also of The Hostess as well, one of my favorite books. I almost cried when I watched it during a Computer class when I saw the disaster they had done with one of the most spectacularly constructed works in history.

Besides the obvious: Kristen Stewart, although being extremely attractive, made Isabella Swan look weak and uninteresting at the time Robert Pattinson disgusted me like Edward Cullen and Taylor Lautner didn't even seem to have bothered to read the books before playing the sixteen-year-old Jacob Black.

Her panties brushed my thigh and I, in a wave of loss of control, pressed her so hard that the blonde let out a low moan. Which I tried to ignore.

"I also prefer books," but why the hell did this girl keep talking? "I think it gives us the freedom we need to create our own little world, a world we can visit while fully conscious and rest without the weight of reality retaliating. I like to think that this is where the pain can't reach me and I can feel good."

Her speech attracted me and I slowly digested it.

"Your thinking is not hypocritical, which is new," I began. "But since when did you know what pain is, Jung JinSol?"

My question made her escape my gaze and lower her head. When the next scene came on the screen, JinSoul moved away from me and I was able to look at just her back heavily protected by two layers of blankets, but her fragrant hair did not leave me given to its length.

When Breaking Dawn Part 2 finally came to an end and we were able to turn on the lights, Olivia guided us straight to the kitchen. My belly rumbled when I saw the most diverse flavors of pizza and I lost control, ending up eating more than eight slices, in addition to the piece of walnut and chocolate cake with hazelnut that they offered me as dessert. The maids said goodbye to us after eating and left the residence. However, the housekeeper, Miss La Vour, an old little lady with gray hair, retired to her room with the warning that she was going to sleep, but that we had a duty to let her know if we needed anything.

The way JinSoul treated her house staff, from the women who ate with us in the pantry to the security team she gave hot chocolate to in the back of the house, made me feel very comfortable. I liked it. One of them, with spiky hair and thick lips, told her that her mother, the mayor, would sleep at Kim Jiwoo's house, the principal of my school, so that she could have a more pleasant night with her friends.

That, _yes_ , was good news, and it reminded me of my task, since I had allowed myself to forget my responsibility that night to to honor the 'I will try it' oath that Yerim demanded with her harsh looks.

"I think it's game time," Chaewon sang after a brief conversation in signs with her girlfriend.

With stomachs full of food, we sat on a small wheel on the floor and Soyeon did a favor to turn on the heater. The formation was very similar to the previous one on the comfortable bed of comforters, except that Choerry lay on my left and JinSoul on my right. I still enjoyed my second mug of hot chocolate.

Soojin took the metal water bottle from her backpack and put it in the center of the circle.

"Who's going to start?" She asked, holding her wavy hair in a high bun on her head.

"I'll do it," Olivia's voice was so low and deliciously hoarse that I could barely hear it, but it made me look at her curiously. "I can speak, Jungeun, I just prefer to communicate in _my_ first language."

I had read about the difficulty of deaf people to speak, especially among deaf people _like Hyejoo_ , who had never heard the sound of vowels. From her soft accent, I imagined that she had been attending a speech therapist for a long time.

Olivia turned the object around and it was decided that the part with the lid would indicate who would have to answer and the bottom who would ask.

"Chaewon asks Choerry," Soojin verbalized it.

"What do you choose, Choerry?" Asked the gilt.

"Truth!"

"What was the most embarrassing situation you've ever been in?"

"Well," Yerim blushed hard. "There was a time in the kindergarten where I was with Jungeun in the school park and we were racing and Jungeun was letting me win, but then I tripped and rolled off the slope to the dog track. I stopped right on top of a lot of poop, it was awful. Jungeun was worried and started to shout 'Cherry! Cherry!', event though I've always hated cherries, and our whole class listened to her shouting and went to check what had happened. They all saw me in that shameful situation."

"Wow! It is not disappointing at all, Choerry,” Chaewon commented through laughter. Soyeon laughed spitefully.

"Cherry?" The brunette mocked.

"We were a pair of spies, you know, we had job names!" She defended herself. "I was Cherry and she was Kim Lip."

"Kim Lip? Where did that come from?"

"Nowhere, JinSoul. Yerim just sucks with nicknames."

"Hey-"

"Soyeon for Kim Lip," I glared at Hyejoo, even though I was grateful that she stopped Yerim's drama. "I'm sorry, Lip, but it suits you."

I rolled my eyes and chose truth.

"What's the biggest secret you've ever kept from anyone? And it's not worth lying," Soyeon was blunt. "Choerry, tell us if she's lying."

The obedient gesture my roomate did to the eldest made me want to kill her. I had no ide of how to answer that question in determined terms without ending up in prison, and Yerim knew it well enough, so much that she kept avoiding my gaze. Coward.

"Can I switch to challenge?"

"Please!" The damn gummy smile girl smirked and looked at JinSoul. "I dare you to kiss her. And it has to be for five whole seconds!"

I smiled, too smart to fall for her tricks, and kissed Jung JinSol's cold cheek for five seconds.

"You didn't make your terms explicit."

'Touché."

The game ontinued until Chaewon started to nestle between Hyejoo's legs and fell asleep — they were the first to go to the duvet bed. So we started talking about our personal tastes and Yerim was able to show how sociable she could be if she were given the chance to. She was so happy because, after all, being accepted had been her dream for some time now.

"She looks happy," JinSoul blurted out. She was the only person who made comments as random as those, but equally consistent with our present reality.

"Yes, she does," I looked at the braid she was making with a thick lock of her long platinum hair. "You've been quiet since the movies."

 _Not that I care,_ I meant to say. But since Yerim had put the 'try!' bullshit in my head, maybe I cared the least to be considered human. Nothing more.

"Today is the last day of autumn, you know?" She mumbled again. "It's been just over three months since we are _almost that_ ," I laughed at her words, seeing how serious she had taken it.

"No, JinSou. I've been considering you _almost that_ for almost a week, I've named you _almost that_ two days ago and it's been over three months since I was forced to socialize with you," I corrected her and for some reason, she found reasons to bow her head and laugh happily.

"When will I be your friend, Kimberly?"

"I have no friends, JinSoul."

She, to my surprise, rolled her eyes and stood up, attracting the other girls.

"It's almost three in the morning, guys. I think it's smart to go to sleep."

Silently, I thanked JinSoul for making my life easier and forcing everyone to lie down and sleep. I waited half an hour just to be sure, to check on them and all I could see with the faint moonlight coming in through the closed window were closed eyes and lazy breaths.

Careful not to wake the blonde next to me, I got up and grabbed my backpack, leaving the room and going up the stairs. This was, apparently, the bad part of having a house that was too big: the difficulty between finding and moving between rooms. I carefully opened all the doors I saw in front of me and ended up finding a luxurious guest room, a non-compact bathroom and a music room, with a piano, guitars and violins hanging on the wall and a lot of instruments that I had no idea how to play, or how they called. One of the bedrooms, however, had left me curious about one detail. It was JinSoul's.

Jung JinSol's room was not as big as I had imagined, nor stunning or shiny. It was actually quite simple. It was obvious that all the pieces there were more expensive than everything that had ever belonged to me in my life, but there was nothing to show off. A dark piano leaned against the wall, next to the window, and the second door gave me access to the bathroom and closet. There were no rugs, a sign that she was allergic, and no dresses, which made me presume her claustrophobia, but there was a white bookshelf stretched on the lilac wall in front of the bed, loaded with books that, I figured, had a pattern.

It wasn't exactly _that_ what had attracted me, though. On the next shelf, next to a bunch of trophies, were medals and tickets in small pieces of cardboard stuck to the wall. Phrases like 'Try to eat, JinSoul, you can do it!', 'Hold the food, JinSoul' and 'You are not ungrateful for not being able to feel good' filled the papers. The trophies were repeated with the first position, but the sports varied. Swimming, synchronized swimming, jazz, jiu-jitsu, running. I had read enough biography books to interpret that wall correctly.

Jung JinSol was depressed, bulimic and anorexic. Or something close to it.

Something inside me broke with the realization and I knew it was the perfect princess image that I had created of her. I had never seriously thought about any of this because it was not my reality. Everyone I knew struggled to be able to eat, not the other way around. Everyone I knew had reasons to be unhappy, but, seeing it all, I believed for the first time that there was no need to have such thing as depression. It was a disease and could happen to anyone, even Jung JinSol.

For the first time, with the remnant of humanity that there was in me, I felt bad for her.

_Too many first times for one day._

"What do you have to steal this time?" I was startled by her voice and jumped towards her.

"Choi Yerim!" I shouted in a whisper. "What the fuck, dude! You don't know how to be normal, do you?"

"Answer me, Jungeun," she insisted, but I remained silent, waiting for her to give up on pissing me off. It did not happened. "Look here, you masochistic idiot, whether you like it or not, I'm with you and I will not let you do this alone when I can help."

"Go back to sleep, Yerim," I said, rolling my eyes and pushing her through, continuing my search. I heard Choerry close the door to JinSoul's room and follow me. _Jesus fucking Christ._

"You won't get rid of me so you better tell me for once."

Seeming to answer my prayers — whoever it was —, I found the first door locked. Only JinSoul and Sooyoung lived here, in addition to the employees, all too busy and loyal to disobey, so why lock up a room? I smiled victoriously, having no trouble cheating on the lock with a hair clip that I had taken from Yerim's messy hairstyle and running into Mayor Ha Sooyoung's office.

"Oh, no," my roommate murmured while following me cautiously into the room after closing the door behind her, understanding what my actions meant. "Let's be quick, okay? I don't want us to get into trouble. I mean, more trouble."

"It would help if you shut up and went back to sleep."

"It would help if you tell me what we are looking for!"

I started rummaging through the many dressers, opening the drawers in search of any sign of the damn fish, and Yerim, more fearful than anything, was calculating her movements when she searched the mayor's closet.

"Fish, Yerim, anything that reminds you of fish."

"Jungeun, I think I screw up a bit."

Rolling my eyes, I turned around and was ready for something broken, something werid, but a hidden passage behind the automatic door better known as Sooyoung's drink cabinet was more than my mind could ever imagine.

"Yerim, what the hell?!"

"I didn't do anything, I swear! I didn't drop anything, I didn't pull anything, it just opened!" She defended herself and I was motivated not to trust her if the noisy steps were not coming from the hole in the wall. I opened my eyes wide, understanding what that meant and grabbed Choerry's arm to pull her under the wooden table. Seconds later, the heels were too close and the muffled drag from the closet was enough for us to understand.

" _Jiwoo, don't worry, I'm coming, baby,_ " Ha Sooyoung's voice sounded, more alive than ever, and Yerim would scream in panic if I hadn't shut her up with my hand. The fear in her eyes was clear. " _No, my love, work has delayed more than Iitshould have, I've already explained it,_ " she continued. " _JinSoul asked me to come here, she had another anxiety attack._ "

Yerim bit my hand and I almost hit her. _Liar_ , she simulated with her lips. It took me three seconds to understand that she was referring to JinSoul's mother.

“ _Okay, I'm coming back. Leaving right now. Love you._ "

I stuck my head out a little after we heard the door lock again and pulled us out of the cubicle to find that we were alone again.

"What the hell was that? Mrs. Ha must be crazy! JinSoul didn't leave our sight all night! And Olivia had even told me that she was a little upset because she hadn't seen her mother since yesterday afternoon," she started, but I was busy gathering information and trying to believe in what I just heard." It seems that it's not just girls from the periphery who hide illegal secrets."

"This is something to worry about later, Yerim. In fact, you don't have any secrets and you won't start to have them."

"I'm already involved in this, Jungeun," she insisted. "I appreciate everything you've been doing to keep Yeojin and I out of it, but I know what I'm getting into and I won't let you continue alone on this one. Whatever you're going to do, I'll stay by your side."

Accepting that her stubbornness was greater than my patience, I took a deep breath while trying to accept that my protective instinct for Yerim would no longer prevent her from getting into trouble and, before I knew it, she was gone from my vision. I had been paralyzed for too long.

"Jungeun, is that this?" I went to her. Choerry had opened a drawer that was supposed to be closed due to its lock, but her hair was completely loose and it gave me an idea of how that happened. The false bottom was on top of the marble and all I saw at the end of the void was beta plaster fish. "Isn't this the soluble material that the teacher made you study for the last work of last year?"

"You are _a genius,_ Choi Yerim," my eyes shone with satisfaction staring at the objects.

"Cherry and Kim Lip?"

I looked into her eyes and smiled. "Cherry and Kim Lip."

After putting the five plaster fish in my backpack, we unlocked the door to get out of there and headed to the stairs, but when we were right in the middle of it, we heard the familiar friction noise between the floor and the absurdly high heels.

"Damn it," Yerim whispered.

"She's coming here, we won't be able to get down without her seeing us."

"I think I got an idea. Stay down until she moves."

"What? No! Yerim, you can't-"

"Just trust me, damn it!"

Seeing her thirsty for her wishes and knowing that I was about to deeply regret it, I obeyed her and crouched down. It was too dark for Sooyoung to be able to focus on more than just one thing, so I understood my roommate's logic quickly enough. Yerim sat on a step and began to sob. The noise of the heels jumped closer until Ha Sooyoung was meters away from us.

The woman crouched down to Yerim and touched her head, pulling he off the wall. I saw my chance and left as quietly as I could, putting my backpack under Soyeon's, as it was before, and my body next to Jung JinSol, but I ended up not being so delicate in my last task and her sleepy eyes soon shone at me. Automatically but not wanting to, I remembered what I had seen in her room.

"Lippie," I wrinkled my nose in strangeness to the new nickname. JinSoul was so cliché it made me want to pretend to faint. But she smiled with her face crumpled by the pillow. "Choi Yerim is your friend, isn't she? Why can't I be too?"

A shadow came into view and I recognized it as Choerry by her body shape. She noticed that I was looking at her and smiled big, satisfied, raising her thumbs up and lying down again between the sleeping Soojin and Chaewon.

I didn't have to think to answer.

"You're wrong, Jung JinSol. Choi Yerim is my family."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at this point, you guys must have realized that romance isn't exactly the main point of the story, although there's > a lot < of it in it. 
> 
> :)))) i'm excited about this, let's find out what else there is for us to see! 
> 
> as usual, my twitter is @ hosieonthejelly vfghjklvb have a lovely weekend!


	6. Winter; Jungeun and the invitation

I found myself between the desperation to finish the task passed by the Physics teacher and the difficulty to keep both a good handwriting and the vivid memory of the formulas in my mind. This is the last class before the break and the teacher, who is not one of my favorites and definitely not even one I can stand, couldn't stop looking at us like we're some kind of pet.

What's the point of passing a list of exercises worth a third of the final grade twenty minutes before class ends? He's crazy! Anyone who wanted to feel my irritation just had to look at me, the tense and angry atmosphere that surrounded me making it as clear as water; I know that the exaggerated force with which I pressed my hand around the pen and the object on the sheet of paper made it pretty notorious.

Well, resistor association is also not my favorite subject, nor is little power and energy dissipation, so my fury had consistency.

Dying in a hurry, I handed over the paper seconds before the middle-aged man stood up, pushing his stiff belly forward and showing off his usual frowning features of few friends. He ignored the other students' desperate requests to accept their assignments and left the room the second he heard the bell ring.

For a difference of seconds, I did not join Kang Seulgi, who was crying because she had lost so many points for taking so much time to calculate the results.

Sighing, I understood the injustice it was and picked up the red backpack I got the week before from Chaewon, as a gift to celebrate the beginning of our friendship, even though I didn't really consider her a friend, yet.

It's been three weeks since the goddamn slumber party and sharing the table during all the breaks with JinSoul and her friends was becoming a bearable habit and impossible to avoid, since they always filled us with so much food that, a few days ago, we started to save a certain amount and take it to Yeojin, who looked as silly at the chocolate bars and hamburgers as I did in the first time I received them.

I have not heard from Haseul since the day I gave her the soluble fish I stole from Mayor Ha's office, nor did I look for her at Yerim's request. Yerim even insisted on going to the Jo's apartment with me to deliver the package, but I refused to involve her more than necessary and declined it, ending up catching her following me before entering the apartment, like the stubborn brad she is. I still forced her to wait outside the building, though.

Choerry had made it clear to me that, whatever there was to do, we were going to do it together, and as much as my fear of getting hurt scares me, the idea of having a close family like that is not so bad.

"Lippie!" I stopped when I heard the shameful nickname call and took a deep breath so I wouldn't shove JinSoul's long blond hair in her own mouth. "I went to your classroom, but you had already left."

Even though Jung JinSol and I are from the same class, we don't have all subjects together. Physics is one of them.

"It happens," the blonde blushed at my lack of emotion, but what could I do? It happens! I have it for myself that I wouldn't understand that girl even if she put in front of me a manual about herself. "I already told you to stop with that stupid name, didn't I?"

"It's a lovely nickname!" She insisted. "And it's cute."

"I don't care if it's cute or not," I rolled my eyes and watched her cross her arms, clearly upset, pressing her lips together. "Where are the girls? I thought they had classes with you."

"They did, they're waiting for us outside," I waited for her to make some more observations, but JinSoul said nothing, so I raised my eyebrows in a silent question. "First, apologize!"

"Excuse me?" I almost laughed at her words. "It's a stupid nickname, I won't apologize."

"Then I won't move!"

Long ago, when the blonde insisted that we would be friends no matter what I said, I had found out that Jung JinSoul is annoyingly persistent and apparently doesn't give up on anything. Seriously, _nothing at all._ Therefore, I saw no other option since the girl refused to move, except to grab her arm and take her by force. JinSoul pulled her own member before we reached the cafeteria.

Irritated, I closed my eyes at her and groaned.

"Okay, sorry for insulting your crude nickname," she slapped my arm twice and I had to control my internal temperature so my blood wouldn't start boiling. I sighed. "JinSoul, I'm sorry if my opinion offended you, okay? You won't get more than that from me."

She smiled broadly in response and bit her tongue between her teeth, tilting her head up, an act that I found strangely adorable.

"Jungeun," she called out, preventing me from walking again. "I would like to ask you something."

"The last time you told me that, I had to endure six hours of movies about vampires and love triangles," I accused.

JinSoul took my hand and got closer, smiling with closed lips. "Are you free Saturday afternoon?" She sounded nervous even though her question was simple. Lucky for her, I had learned to ignore the anxiety that preceded her actions.

"Maybe I am, why?" It was a Saturday and Haseul was unreachable, of course I would be free.

"Chaewon wants to invite all of us to go to the movies Saturday night, you know, to watch one of those old and famous movies that they're replaying, but I would like to go earlier."

"I will talk to Yerim about," I promised.

"Don't! I mean, yes, talk to Yerim. But, Lippie, I would like to go to somewhere else a bit early, just with you."

I understood the real meaning of her words as soon as her cheeks took on the strong reddish hue. It made me momentarily nervous; no one had ever asked me out before, not like that — the first time it happened for example, I was younger and Haseul's 'meet me at' had sounded more like an obligation than anything else. This was new.

"Are you inviting me on a date?"

The city princess opened and closed her mouth a few times before I raised my eyebrows and laughed at her reaction. JinSoul took this as a challenge.

"Exactly," she replied, still embarrassed.

If I were to think about it, the answer would certainly be different. So I didn't.

"And I assume you will take me to McDonalds for lunch?"

JinSoul froze for a moment, perhaps too stunned to interpret my response.

"Yes!" She opened her eyes wide. "I mean, no! I was actually thinking of a more nutritious place, but we can stop by before we meet the girls for the movie."

"I'll be ready before one pm."

When I headed to our usual table, leaving a Jung JinSol gaping behind, my mind exploded in ways it had never done before and I felt surprisingly anxious about the situation. And I don't suffer from anxiety.

Thinking of JinSoul at that moment made my stomach bubble and my mind get heavy. It wasn't nothing that I had experienced in my recent moments with Haseul — perhaps because I had blocked my feelings for her — nor even when Choerry had her presumptuous self-esteem attacks over others' and went out complimenting everyone she saw in front of he with questionable vocabulary with me by her side.

So I avoided touching her name when I sat next to Hyejoo and, even after noticing that Jung was taking too long to come, I didn't look around for her.

Hyejoo smiled and my paranoia told me that she, as the best friend of my date, knew something about it, even though her lips were just repeating the same act they did the day before, and the day before it. In front of me, Yerim was devouring a jar of chocolate pudding while a crumpled cookie paper lay next to her purple notebook on the table.

"What do you think about going to the cinema Saturday night?" Chaewon asked as her girlfriend stroked her hand over the concrete.

Yerim perked up more than she already was at the same moment. "It's a spectacular idea! Much better than spending the night cleaning the vegetables in Miss Grimes' garden, that's for sure!" She shook her head with an expression of disgust as she spoke.

"Who's Grimes?" JinSoul made herself present, placing the gray tray of food on the table and the backpack on the floor, sitting next to me.

The discomfort in my stomach came back immediately and I decided that I would ignore any reaction that the girl caused in my body for my own sake. I would act as if the fact that we had a date, a real one, did not cause me anything.

"She's the social worker in charge of the orphanage," I explained, taking my food off the object JinSoul had brought and putting the chocolate bar and the juice in my backpack, with plans to hand it over to someone else. I wasn't that hungry, so I chose to eat only the muffin and steal a few sips of the industrialized peach tea that belonged to the blonde. "She's a selfish narcissist, she's always spending the money that the city sends us on designer clothes and expensive shoes. She's an idiot."

"Why didn't you make a charge?" Chaewon sounded stunned.

"We already did it, a thousand times," Choerry took the floor. "We went to the social forum and everything, but the process lives in a status of 'progress'. I have already given up hope for a change."

It's a lie; I knew it. Yerim never really gives up on hope, it is almost impossible to happen, but she likes to play strong.

"It's not like someone cares about what happens to us," I added with no remorse or sadness in my voice. Nobody owed me anything and I'm doing fine with the way things are.

Our new friends didn't seem to take it well.

"I care! We care," Hyejoo interjected, her voice husky and shaky.

"I'm going to talk to my mom about it, I don't think anyone supervises that kind of thing!"

I found myself smiling as I looked at Jung JinSol's upset expression and felt like hitting my head against the wall with all my might for it.

"It's something to be solved, really. Jin, please let us know when you have spoken to your mother, ok?" Chaewon asked.

"That is not necessary," I insisted, making it clear that I didn't care about that mobilization. I already knew it would come to nothing.

"I think it is," Choerry said, smiling in thanks to the girls, proving how comfortable she was in that atmosphere.

"Getting back to the subject you both like so much," I rolled my eyes when I said it. "About the cinema, can I take someone?"

"Someone? Someone who?" The overly sentimental voice belonged to Jung JinSol, forcing me to hold back my laughter and exchange glances with Yerim, who understood the message that I didn't verbalize thanks to the conversations we had previously had on the subject.

"Yeojin... She's basically our sister. We promised that we would take her with us the next time we went out or something like that," Yerim smiled as she remembered the youngest one. "She's eleven. The movie doesn't have a high rating, does it?"

The truth is that Yeojin saw us coming with food — delicious, quality food, which we never had access to before — and questioned us about it. The little girl was curious about our supposed new friends and asked to meet them. We agreed, Choerry and I, that Chaewon, Hyejoo and Jung JinSol would be good influences for Yeojin, and, who knows, because she is so young, she could benefit even more from this friendship. The chances are not over for her yet.

"No, it doesn't," JinSoul didn't hide her smile of relief and Hyejoo perked up. Her girlfriend had already commented on her passion for children with us. "It will be lovely to have her with us."

"Chaewon, can you stop by the orphanage for a ride?" I asked.

The golden girl frowned. "I thought Jin was going to take you guys."

"We're going out in the afternoon," I explained deciding to simplify things. This was not something I was going to hide; the more I treated as something common, the more it became something common.

JinSoul blushed hard.

"Really? What are you going to do?" Nosy Yerim insisted on interrogating.

"It's a date," I struggled to get my voice out as normal as possible, fighting my facial muscles so they wouldn't get hot like the blonde next to me.

"A date? Kim Jungeun!" As much as she screamed in amazement, my roommate's tone and features were extremely happy and, in my opinion, exaggerated.

"This is wonderful!" Chaewon said, starting to exchange information with Hyejoo in sign language.

"I thought you wouldn't want people to know this soon..." JinSoul whispered in a failed attempt to be discreet. Yerim, who was sneaking up on us, smirked and I knew I was going to have to endure an extensive questionnaire about it later.

"How many times will I have to repeat it for you to understand, Jung JinSol? _You don't know me._ Not yet."

It felt comfortable to say such a thing, knowing that I was giving the girl hope and feeling it in myself, even though it was so light and small, like a whisper. I wondered if I was selfish about wanting more of that with someone like JinSoul.

The bell didn't take long to ring and we had to say goodbye and separate, but Yerim, Hyejoo and I walked together to the room of our next class, which we had together. Computational Informatics.

"Aren't you bothered by it?" Yerim asked suddenly, staring at Hye, who was standing to ask any questions with the teacher.

"Bothered by what, Yerim?"

"I don't know exactly. With Hyejoo, I think. She has to work hard when she's with us, she has to pay attention to every movement of our mouths to understand the subject of our conversations. It makes me feel so bad, like a terrible human being. She's happy the way she is, but I bet with you that she hates having to lip-read so she doesn't feel left out."

Her point made me momentarily feel immense pity and guilt. Yerim touched on an important topic that I, for a few seconds of my existence, had already stopped to think about during the moments of insomnia before falling into a deep sleep. However, before I had Hyejoo's company, and even a little after that, it was not in my interest to do anything to change; I didn't care, I just paid attention to it.

But now that I saw the brow of one of my new friends frowning as we spoke and herrequests for us to speak more slowly, something in me had begun to shift, but not enough to bring up the subject with Yerim, ynlike Yerim, who seemed to be really motivated.

"And what do you intend to do about it?" I didn't expect a concrete answer.

"I think I'm going to ask Chaewon to teach me sign language."

Maybe, just maybe, I would accompany Yerim in her classes, which Chaewon, at the end of the school day, agreed to give with all the excitement in the world, while Hye hid her smile and shook my hand, as if asking if I would do it too. Without having how to deny it, I shook my head in a 'more or less' way and had my cheeks kissed by the youngest, full of thanks.

This time, it was impossible not to blush, just as it was impossible for Yerim not to see the unusual event and scream at all the damn winds about it, and soon the girls started to squeeze my cheeks and kiss my face even more.

It wasn't as bad as I made it sound.

However, JinSoul seemed reclusive and restrained on the way to the aquarium and shy for the rest of the afternoon. Her attitude had started to cause me some revolt because the little princess had no right to ask me out and then start to blush with every look we exchanged, almost ignoring me; _no_ , the ignoring thing was _my_ thing, but the other girl seemed to be enjoying it without limits.

I even let her take me home just to see if she would come to say something, but she didn't. And, due to the tiredness I felt from the effort we had made to move so many turtle eggs to the beach and set up all those protections — I had never imagined that any animal could be interested in eating them, how crazy —, I couldn't stay inside the car and wait anymore. 

"In two weeks, we will be able to see the babies being born on the beach. They swim ito the sea," JinSoul mumbled as she stopped the car in front of the orphanage. That was the longest sentence she had said to me all afternoon.

"Cool," I let a soft smile take hold of my lips when I left her car and then jumped the wall to get in, watching the car go out of my sight before closing the door.

All the girls were already in their most worn and old clothes, the ones we used to sleep in, and I managed to take a shower in peace, without having to hear complaints from Grimes because, according to Yeojin, she had gone out to meet some social workers in the center and said she would arrive after nine, but before ten, and that she would punish anyone who was not in bed by then.

Yeojin seemed quite excited when she was told about our Saturday's movie time and chattered for minutes in a row, forcing us to tell her all about the trio of friends, so that she would know as much as possible before meeting them. I let Yerim take care of this task since I no longer had the patience to spend my free time talking about the people I lived with every school day, but yes, I made comments when I thought it was necessary.

I also thought it was a good time to give the little girl the juice, but I put the candy in her backpack so that she had something interesting to eat between classes tomorrow.

In the end, Yeojin slept like a rock in Choerry's bed and, again, I was prevented from sleeping comfortably — well, as comfortable as the old mattress full of mites allowed me to — because of Yerim, who joined me and tightened me with her arms too much.

"I didn't think you were going to really try, Lippie," the intruder said, burying her chubby face in the curve of my neck. "But you are and I'm as happy as ever for that. It's not that bad, is it? Open up for other can be incredible, even if it has a bad side. But everything has a bad side, so we shouldn't stop trying. Thank you so much for all this."


	7. Winter; Jungeun and the date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungeun has a date and decides to try new things after a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! here I am again with another chapter uwu dfghyufgh 
> 
> I MUST INFORM: I changed the narrative style for the first person because that is how the story is in the original version and it's easier for me to translate it that way (which makes updates more frequent)
> 
> I hope you all like it anyway, have a good reading and stay safe!

The sun that usually warmed the city of Loonaville was distant and dull, covered by gray clouds and laden with rain in the sky. It no longer glowed and the heat that prevented the orphans from the orphanage like me from dying of hypothermia came from the only heater in the house, located next to the television, also unitary in its kind. I knew that the day would not be rainy entirely because, here, it was always like this. Mornings and early mornings were always the worst parts of the day, but the weather would calm down later.

One of the older girls whose name I didn't remember and didn't even care to learn tried very hard to tune the antenna since we didn't have closed channels, so that the image of the cartoon would be at least clear and the other children could get together and distract themselves that Saturday morning.

Yeojin brushed her hair, passingthe forks of the comb repeatedly through her strands while sitting on the floor with her legs crossed right in front of the air vent. The sweatshirt I had taken from JinSoul a few days earlier and lent her this morning was not enough to warm her cold, but she was a good girl and didn't complain about it, especially because she was the only one there with a coat that was either worn or old.

"I made tea," I announced, crouching down to leave the metal tray with the mugs on the floor. As we did not have funds to make hot chocolate for twenty-three girls and we could not run out of hot liquid or we would start to shake, the available choice was always tea and I was in charge of the task of knowing how to differentiate the herbs in Grimes' garden due to my several hours of punishment.

When I saw that all the girls had gotten their drinks, I left and walked back to my bedroom as Choerry had ordered. To say that she was very nervous about my date with JinSoul was still an understatement. She had forced me to wake up earlier than usual so that my routine wouldn't disturb her plans and gathered all of our best clothes on top of her mattress to choose what I would wear. I let her because I didn't want to ruin her fantasy.

"Take the towel off your head, Jungeun," she instructed, staring at the pieces in her hands.

"My hair is still wet. Hypothermia is not the way I intend to die, Choi Yerim."

"Christ, you're the hyperbole itself," she rolled her eyes and I found myself regreting for having helped her study for her English test. "Close the door please."

Even though I was upset, I did so, approaching her and picking up the fabrics she had thrown at me. I could see a dark jeans and a white tank top with something written in black. I put them on and accepted the red belt that my friend offered me, putting on the pair of short boots soon after. Yerim pulled the towel off my head and ignored the cursing I addressed to her, hitting the space next to her after sitting on the bed.

"I will die of cold, Yerim," she ignored me again and started to comb my threads, untangling them with care and dedication.

"You could tell me how you feel about it. You know, the date, JinSoul... Do you like her? Honestly, Lip, please. This is important to me."

 _My_ date and m _y_ feelings are important to _her_. Sure

Seeing how blindly she placed her hope in me, I told myself to swallow the pride that told me not to say a word to her — feelings were never an easy matter since I often avoided and repressed them — and I took a deep breath to sum up the confusion my head created.

"I'm trying to figure it out, Yerim. I mean, JinSoul isn't exactly my favorite type of girl. If I was looking for someone, she wouldn't even be my third choice."

"Then why did you agree to go out with her?" Her movements stopped for a few seconds. "Lip, you're not forcing yourself on this because of me, are you?"

"Nobody makes me do anything, Choerry. That will never change,” I scolded her sternly, but at that moment I doubted my own words. I never imagined going out with the prom queen, after all. "I like how I feel when I'm around her and how she makes me feel about myself. I think that's it. JinSoul is not as bad as I thought she was. She's pretty and attractive and can keep me in conversation without making me throw up. Sometimes actually, but this is already a victory to consider. Apart from looking like she was taken out of a fairy tale, she pushes me out of my comfort zone, just like you, but in a way... I don't know... _Different,_ maybe? I'm curious about that."

"Are you saying she messes with you?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

Yerim remained silent for the next few minutes and chose to leave my hair — still wet — loose, which frustrated me a lot.

"I'm so happy about it, Lip! But changing the subject. I was thinking here... Have you ever thought about dyeing your hair? I bet you would look beautiful blonde."

"Now I'll be the one to pretend not to hear you!" I announced with sour humor and feeling my ego slightly attacked. That was a princess thing, not a _me_ thing!

"Jungeun unnie, she's here, she has arrived!" Yeojin shouted, entering the room as excited as Yerim as soon as she heard the news.

"Go, get out of my sight!"

"Yerim, I need a coat!" I protested, trying to get her to stop pushing me out of the orphanage.

"Trust me, it won't be necessary," she pushed me out for once, quickly closing the door behind me and I knew that her face, along with Yeojin's, would be glued to the living room window to spy on me.

Jung JinSol's car was parked in front of the metal grille; the closed, dark windows would not let me see the inside. I saw the driver's seat door opening and closed it with my arms at the same time, preventing the blonde from leaving and doing that 'oh, let me get out and open the door for you and bla bla bla' thing — I can open my own door, _duh_ —, quickly entering and sitting beside her, putting my hands in a hurry on the air outlet where the warm air harmonized the environment.

"Hey," she cheered.

"Hey," I returned. I was obstinate not to let us fall even a second into the awkward silence that the strangeness among young people cause. "Yerim didn't let me get a coat, I'm freezing. We're going to a somewhere warm, right?"

"I know, I was the one who told her to do it," I looked at her for the first time that day. JinSoul had her long blond hair tangled in its natural undulations, the locks behind her ears held by dark barrettes; she wore a black long-sleeved blouse that ended its length just before the navel, where her dark blue skirt began. A beige pantyhose warmed her legs and made her more elegant than she normally was, but it wasn't this detail that made me smile with satisfaction.

Jung JinSol was not wearing makeup. Lip gloss, eye pencil, mascara; absolutely _nothing._ Much insistence from Chaewon and Olivia had been necessary for the fact, I was sure of that.

"You have never been as beautiful as you are now," the internal panic began when I realized that such words had left _my_ mouth, and I fought to keep my cheeks from showing how dull it had become.

JinSoul, on the other hand, had to look at her own hands to escape her embarrassment.

"Thank you," she whispered. I watched her take a deep breath and turn her body back so fast that I barely noticed the package she placed in my lap. "I owed you for the slumber party."

In fact, I had been promised a reward for my presence, but I had lost interest in it long ago. I didn't let her know that, though, so it shouldn't have been such a surprise for me. I unwrapped the gift and opened the box; there was a black jacket inside of it, very stylish, really preety. I didn't need to ask about the price to know that she had paid a high number for iy.

'It's synthetic leather. Choerry said you weren't a big fan of products that exploit animals for its making. But it is very hot, I promise," she guaranteed, still avoiding looking directlyat me.

"I appreciate it. It's beautiful," I put it on her while JinSoul tossed the torn package on the back seat. "You didn'tt answer me, though."

"Oh yes, of course! You never went to Orbit, did you?"

"You're asking an orphan from the Loonaville orphanage if she has ever been to the most expensive and famous restaurant in the city. You know the answer pretty well, Jung JinSol," I tried hard not to look thick, which was difficult due to my habits.

"Okay, please forgive me, I was just checking. There's a special promotion today, it's the 9th anniversary since the inauguration and they're rotating pizza and chocolate," she explained, disconcerted.

"Why isn't the car moving yet, Jung JinSol?"

**+++**

I have never eaten so much in my life and JinSoul, at the same time that felt scared of how much my stomach could take, felt encouraged to continue eating and that, I have to admit, made me want to end all the food of the restaurant just so she could accompany me. However, we are all human and I reached my limit with one last piece of chocolate pizza — I never even thought that such a thing existed before, but, from the moment the melted candy touched my mouth with the fermented dough, nothing in the world could replace its favorite food post in my rank. My desire was to marry its inventor. The guy should at the very least be rich to this day.

Because my mouth was busy, we didn't talk much and that's why I felt affected for being such a bad company. To be honest, the feeling only reached me when I saw the high number in the bill that the blonde princess had to pay, although she did not show any kind of regret nor did she mshow herself affected by it. That was the month's market for the entire orphanage. So, without thinking, I grabbed her hand and asked her not to meet the girls yet and do something together instead.

JinSoul surprised me. She knew that I was in no position to dictate where we would go and she could have taken me anywhere, knowing that I would not complain for a long time. But she has good taste, after all, and her car parked in front of Loonaville bay, on top of the cliff. Yellowed earth and small grass made up the city's highest point. We were the only ones in that desert of height and beauty, but the view won over all the beautiful places I had ever seen in my life.

My list of favorites was starting to fill up with things I had experienced with Jung JinSol, I noticed.

The song _Reflections_ by The Neighborhood played on the car's radio and the feeling of calm invaded me. There was no longer the pressure to go to college on my shoulders, or the responsibility to look after Yerim and Yeojin, not even the allegiance to Haseul and her boss and her damned criminal tasks. I only felt the music, the warmth of the sun setting in front of us and the breath of the tall blonde who was sitting beside me on the hood.

With gratitude for the lightness in my mind, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, a gesture that attracted JinSoul and made her look at me; her arm, crossed in mine, moved so that her hand would squeeze mine.

"What's in your mind?" She asked.

"I..." I was never the most open person in the world and that was always stamped on my face, in my actions. Even in my thoughts. But lately, with Yerim insisting that I get involved with the girls, with JinSoul in my life... I was faced with the possibility of security. And I wanted to try to feel safe with the city's princess, as ironic as that might sound. "I'm thinking I can get used to it."

JinSoul's smile was automatic and she left a kiss on my cheek. It so sudden that it almost made me pull back, but she had been forcing me to open up to physical contact for a long time now, so I think I should have gotten used to it.

"Does that mean you already consider me your friend?"

I rolled my eyes and lay on the car window. She followed me and I, with some usual brutality, put my arm around her, pulling her towards me. "No, JinSoul. It does not mean that you're a friend to me."

For the first time, the blonde looked at me and completely understood the meaning of my words. Her hand reached my face and held it for a few seconds. Her big brown eyes never left mine and this was the time I needed to tell myself that everything was fine, and then I allowed my body to act as I wanted. I came closer and kissed her. JinSoul was already waiting for the act; she had been yearning for it for some time, I knew it, but still, she froze — I think that out of anxiety. A paralysis that only lasted until my hand left hers to meet her waist, squeezing it in the cold of the approaching night, the sun's rays moving away from us and taking my doubts about this insistent and irritating girl away.

I knew I could give Jung JinSol a real chance of a maybe now, and so I would.

But our moment didn't last long because soon the blonde's cell phone rang and, remembering our commitment, I let her go from my grip.

"I know, Chae. We're on our way,” she replies to the growls that Park Chaewon let out over the line. She was standing away from me after I teased her with her friend still in her ear. "I promise we'll get there in time. Buy our tickets, will you? Love you."

"Let me guess: someone is upset with us?" I asked in irony. Of course, the later program pleased me, especially with the presence of Yeojin, but I feared that, on an impulse, I would be slow to allow any personal and open moments like the ones we had today happen again.

JinSoul smiled awkwardly and I took advantage of her gesture to get off the hood of the car. "I'm sorry."

"It's getting cold," I ignored her words. "Let's get out of here."

We got in the car and headed for the city cinema. The blonde had told me that Chaewon and Hyejoo had bought snacks and sweets to eat during the film, and that they were already with Yerim and Yeojin and our entrance tickets. Chaewon, in particular, was slightly irritated because, due to our delay, we would have to catch the next session and we were greeted with slaps from his small hands. I barely felt them, but JinSoul pouted his lips in a big pout.

"You'll make my skin purple if you keep hitting me like that, Chaewon!"

"Good, then you'll have a reminder to not keep me waiting ever again!"

"Enough you two, we have children on board," I interrupted pointing at Yerim and Yeojin. Yerim, in particular, looked at me indignantly and took my arm from her shoulders hard.

"I'm not a child, Kim Jungeun!"

"Whatever," I replied as I rolled my eyes and offered my hand to JinSoul. She grabbed it excitingly. 'Yeojin, this is Jung JinSol."

Yeojin, with hwe typical weird hairstyle that made her look, at least to me, like a frog, smiled mischievously. "I've heard of you."

"Hello, Yeojin. I've heard of you too. Lots of good things, promise you. Are you looking forward to watch the movie?"

"You don't have to lie to me, I know that Jungeun unnie speaks ill of me behind my back," her speech made me roll my eyes for the second time. "But I am! I never went to the cinema, you know? And Hye bought me a Happy Meal!"

"Hey, hey, kiddo. Don't you dare to go dare to go all friendly to her when you're an actual nightmare," I intervened. Out of provocation, Yeojin grabbed Hyejoo's waist, who didn't seem to be understanding the situation, and showed me her tongue.

"She's a lot nicer than you!"

Chaewon transmitted the message to her girlfriend and the brunette immediately grabbed the child in a tight hug. I tried not to puke at it.

"Guys, the movie is going to start," Yerim recalled. She took advantage of the girls' movement to approach me just to whisper in my ear. "You have a lot to tell me."

I chose to ignore her extreme curiosity and accompanied them into the film room. I only found out what we were going to watch when the first scene started: it was Aladdin, the live action, and Naomi Scott's acting, voice and appearance left me glazed throughout her life, which made the blonde beside me extremely frustrated. I'm sorry for her, but I would never use an opportunity to watch a movie at the cinema to exchange affection and kisses, and Chaewon seemed to understand me completely because she didn't even turn once for her girlfriend, who was too busy coddling the glassy eleven-year-old anyway. 

It was a pleasant experience and one that I would like to repeat, even though I haven't reached the point of saying it out loud. Choerry did it for me.

"I loved! I really loved it!" She screamed as the credits started to go down. "We have to do it again!"

"I want it too, unnie! I want it too!" Yeojin spoke.

Don't get me wrong, but the whole situation started to bother me. It didn't before, I know, because I didn't give a damn how much they spent on us. They are all rich, after all. However, if Yerim wanted our friendship to last so badly, she had to understand that she couldn't be banked like that every time. One time or another, they would end up bothered by it.

"Actually, I was thinking about going to my house next weekend. Swim on pool, eat some ice cream..." Hyejoo said, looking only at Yeojin and making it clear that only her reaction counted. I made a mental note to question JinSoul about that sometime, Olivia's fixation with children.

Yeojin screamed in excitement because, of course, none of us have ever entered a pool before — actually, I have because I wasn't born an orphan like my two roommates, but it didn't matter to bring it up. I even tried to take her to the municipal club when she was younger, but it was always full and Yeojin discovered to be quite claustrophobic. That is, goodbye bikinis.

We were kicked out of the theater by the employees who wanted to clean it and we were in their way. JinSoul offered to give us a ride to the orphanage and, for a brief moment, Hyejoo countered by wanting to be the one to leave Yeojin at home, although it didn't make any sense due to the larger space in the blonde's car and the fact that Olivia still had to leave Chaewon at her home. She lost the discussion with a sulky expression and dramatized too much while saying goodbye to the youngest.

On the contrary, I watched the scene too bored and already beginning to feel some sleep. Yerim snuck up to me and hugged me from behind. Before I could separate or question the act, she turned my body discreetly across the street, where a shadow watched us from afar with the hood covering her hair and the cigarette in her hands.

Jo Haseul.

_Shit._

"I hope you have a good excuse for that," Choerry whispered, but I knew she was happy with the situation because I knew _her._ Her hatred for Haseul could break any logical thinking she might have.

Unfortunately for her, I always had a plan B.

"Hyejoo, I think it's better for you to take us home. Yeojin and Yerim are in need of some medicine, if you don't mind visiting the pharmacy."


	8. Winter; Jungeun and the lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They decide to not go to the dance and Jungeun gives JinSoul a cringe petname.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> told u guys the updates would come faster fghjkcvb have a good reading and stay safe <3

Miss Qiaolian continued to tirelessly transcribe the chemical compositions from her brown and old notebook to the blackboard while all her students, including me, tried to copy the diagrams in time. We all knew that if the bell rang and she was done with her job, she would start erasing it all and no one would have her notes complete, which would make my study a hundred percent more difficult.

It's not that I hate Chemistry; in fact, this is my second favorite subject, right after the English. But there were not many sources of knowledge for people like me other than what the school provided and our big test would come after the winter holidays, when the city library would be closed until early spring.

"Shit," I murmured to myself, putting a dash in the wrong word to rewrite it next to it and avoid using the concealer. It was pure luck that the lunch bell rang in the exact second I finished the text.

Pure, pure lucky.

"Hey," Yerim called. She was sitting at the desk behind me, but her voice came very close to my ear and I didn't need to look to know that her body was strangely contorted over me. "Have you managed to find the location of the factory?"

She referred to the Tindle Winkle Toy Factory that Haseul had pointed out four days ago as my next target, in the night I had to make Yerim occupy Hyejoo and Yeojin at the pharmacy long enough for me to get all the information from her and get her off our feet before Hye noticed anything. Which worked well, actually. But, unfortunately, my Computer teacher, Mr. Stephen, had missed class this morning, preventing me from printing the map of the roads around the city and further delaying my task.

"Not yet," I replied. "Only tomorrow."

"Okay," and she started to collect the materials scattered on her desk. She had always been the messiest at the time I could never stand to see anything of mine where it shouldn't be.

Something that made me angry about Yerim was that, even though she insisted on that ridiculous 'We are together' speech and bringing up 'Kim Lip and Cherry' every time I tried to convince her to give up on this idiocy, she kept showing her resistance to the orders from Haseul's — whoever it is — and did not miss the chance to prick. One more of those and she would hear me.

We managed to leave the room avoiding the mountain of clutter that our classmates made around the teacher, trying to ask her to send a few things about the subject by e-mail, but I didn't even stress about it. She had never done this before and I'm sure she wouldn't start now. Besides, I don't even have access to my email outside of school. So it was no big deal for Yerim and I.

We went to the canteen and didn't even believe it when we saw JinSoul, Chaewon and Hyejoo sitting at a table outside the cafeteria. I continued cursing each one of them while watching Choerry open the glass door and fall victim to the countless strange looks, as if asking if she was crazy. I was forced to follow her and untied my jacket from the waist as soon as the extremely low temperature reached my body, even with the two blouses and the two pants I wore.

The remnants of snow were still present on the floor, but the flakes on the tables and benches had already turned to water. Only three of the more than twenty iron circles were occupied, one by Jeon Heejin and her friends — far enough from JinSoul's table — and the other by Irene Bae and her cousin — a tall, new girl who I'm almost sure that was called Joy.

"Girls," Yerim greeted as she sat down, being imitated by me in her gesture; JinSoul by my side, as always.

"You were late today," Chaewon frowned. "Did you have Chemistry?"

"Memorizing our schedules, Park?"

"Don't fill your ego too much, Kim," she replied to my tease. "I'll take that as a yes, by the way."

"Hey," whispered JinSoul, grabbing my hand under the table as Chaewon pushed the tray of food for Yerim and I.

"Hi," I replied, kissing her shoulder, then kissing her cheek, right after. We hadn't had any truly alone moments since our date and I was beginning to notice some insecurity on her towards me, so I tried, in my own way, in my own time, to show some physical affection. "Why are we out here? Have you gone crazy or what?"

"I wanted to see the snow," Hyejoo said in her usual low, husky tone. However, seeming to becoe aware of her actions when she laid eyes on Yerim, who was about to shiver, she took off her thick coat and gave it to my friend, insisting that she put it on. "Sorry, Yeriminie."

"It's okay, Hye," Choerry offered her a gentle smile. "So... Will any of you participate in the Winter Race?"

I rolled my eyes and explained. "She hasn't stopped talking about it since Miss Kim announced the opening of applications in the first period."

"I'm not a fan of racing," said Hyejoo, after shaking her head in understanding. It was a little surprise for me, I admit, because she had an enviable athletic build.

"Yeah, I don't either."

With only Jung JinSol and I left, they looked at me.

"What?"

"Oh, Lippie, come on. It will be fun!" JinSoul tried to convince me.

"I will not run with a testimony in hand on purpose, if that is what you're waiting for! I prefer to sit and watch, thank you."

What the hell was that?! I barely survived the mandatory laps around the court during Physical Education — and only because my grade depended on it —, imagine running I don't know how many kilometers voluntarily just to be able to hold a stupid trophy that won't do any good. Yeah, they better _dream_ about it!

"Well, I'll do it!" Announced the blonde with a big excited smile. "The races are in pairs and Yerim will need one, right?"

"Are you kidding?" She shouted. "It will be awesome, JinSoul! We will definitely win!"

"I don't know, sometimes you choose to be disappointed," I commented.

"I don't know, sometimes you choose to be a bore," Chaewon shot back while looking at me. "If you girls win, I'll buy pizza for everyone!"

"But... wait. Isn't the race on the eve of the Yule Ball?"

We all turned to Hyejoo thanks to her words and, in fact, she was right. The dance was on Saturday and the race on Friday. But I hadn't thought much about either events until that moment. Actually, I hadn't thought about it _at all_.

Balls and races have never been my thing. I never went to any one, neither did Yerim, since she refused to participate without a pair that was not designed by her head and I was not willing to be her fake girlfriend. Besides, we didn't have any clothes for that. And she wouldn't even have it because the girls, even if she begged for it, wouldn't pay for it. Or so I hopped.

"And what does that have to do with anything we're talking baout?" I asked.

"JinSoul," said Hyejoo, as if the simple name explained everything. "Soul, didn't you say you had to prepare the campaign for the Winter Queen vote?"

JinSoul automatically became embarrassed and changed her expression. Her hand, the one that was glued to mine, squeezed my fingers and she took a deep breath.

"I don't know if I want to compete anymore."

"What?!" Chaewon and Yerim shouted at the same time.

"You can't let Jeon Heejin get the crown for herself!" Added the shorter blonde.

"But it's just that I talked to Lippie these days and... I don't know, I think the crown isn't as important to me as I thought it was," she tried to explain. "It would be a much more memorable night if we all stayed together and did something fun, for example."

She was lying because our conversation had not been 'these days'. The last and only time that Jung JinSol spoke to me about the ball outside on our first day at the Loonaville aquarium; once in the car and once while she showed me around. She was not supposed to have said anything to me, but her mind had gone too far in its line of thought and her chattering went from the blue beta fish to her feeding on the social image that everyone expected her to maintain and how secretly tiring it was becoming.

I wasn't very interested at the time so I chose to ignore it, but now that the subject was of value to me, I could see some usefulness and even significance in it.

Even with the demanding currents of perfection, Jung JinSol had begun to question the oppressive voices in her home, her school and, most importantly, in her head.

"We could spend the night at Saint Olivia's Belvedere," I suggested, watching the faces of the three princesses express themselves confusedly and Yerim's light up.

"I think this is a great idea, Lippie!" Choerry agreed, smiling.

"What is it?"

"Yeah. I don't know it either,” Chaewon claimed, following the tallest blonde's question.

"Are you telling me that you have been living in Loonaville since forever and have never been to Saint Olivia's Belvedere?" They gave me a negative nod together in response. "Damn bourgeois who only spend their holidays traveling..."

"The Saint Olivia's Belvedere is simply the most beautiful place in the city!" Yerim ignored my surly murmur, continuing with her exaggerated show. "There's a playground and a lake that allows you to skate in the winter! It's just above the hills to the north, but it's super worth it!"

We all waited a minute because Yerim had spoken too quickly and Chaewon had to pass the information on to Hyejoo.

"Wait! Is that the place in the postcards of Loonaville?" Asked the brunette. Her attention was already on my roommate's lips waiting for an answer and that's why I didn't respond.

"Yes! It's beautiful, I promise you'll like it. Jungeun used to take me there when we were younger."

"A 'thank you' would have been enough," I pinned, unhappy about my exposure.

"I think it's a good idea," said Chaewon. "We can rent skates at the Wong store and sleep at Hyejoo's house. We're not going back early, anyway."

"Then that's it! Winter Ball at Saint Olivia's Belvedere with the people I like," Yerim's animation seemed to have infected JinSoul. "We'll take some snacks and-"

"Yeojin!" Hyejoo blushed when she realized she had screamed. "I mean, please. Can we take Yeojin? I can take care of her, it won't be a hassle for anyone."

Liking the idea, I replied. "Okay. That little brat is not so boring. She can be included, yes."

"Best high school dance ever!"

Yeah... No one could deny how intensely Yerim had affected our companions with her explosive joy and positivity. Who would've imagined?

  


**+++**

"Lippe?" JinSoul called.

We were at the Aquarium now and it must be six forty-four at night — there was little time for us to be released from our activities, thank God. Our task for the day was to clean aquarium number three so that the water from rays and starfish could be renewed. JinSoul had been a little quiet since we arrived there, a little oblivious to what was happening around her, which was far from the custom. She was too chatty, too cheerful. But The Black Parade, My Chemical Romance's album, had been our background music for some time and and only thing that kept me entertained.

If she didn't want to speak, I wouldn't be the one to start a monologue, even though I knew something was going on in that silly little head of hers. But I was not like that — the asking type. Not yet.

"Yes?"

"Hey," she called again, making sure to add some imposition to her tone. She wanted me to look at her and so I did, stopping the movements with the cloth against the glass and reaching her curious eyes. They always delivered their exaggerated thoughts. "I wanted to know…"

Seeing her bite her lower lip, I struggled to force something inside me, whatever it was. I mean, I had cared before, I had taken that step once. How would I do it again?

"You wanted to know..." I encouraged, but sighed when I noticed her momentary shyness and, again, I blamed myself for it.

Was she afraid of my reaction? My answer? Heavens, what should I do? What did she expect from me? I would like her to tell me if that was the case.

Without an answer, I dropped the cloth on the floor and got up lazily; I rubbed my hands on my pants just to ward off the smell of alcohol and approached her. I had stayed with the cleaning of the glass wall, JinSoul with the floor, and she was standing there, her hands firmly holding the handle of the broom that she pressed against the concrete without realizing it; her cheek being mashed by the back of her hand.

Jung JinSol was really, really pretty.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on in there or what?" It was a struggle not to let my words not come out so sour. Still, I could have done better.

"It's just that... I've been thinking..." She continued. "About the ball..."

"If you have changed your mind, we can still talk to the girls. You know, get back to the initial schedule."

"Not! Is not it!" She screamed, embarrassed to realize her euphoria. The shrill speech bothered me, but her face was strangely cute when she blushed. "Sorry, it's just... I don't know. I don't want to cancel our plans, believe me. Spending the night of the dance with you is better than actually _being_ at the dance, but... If we happened to be at the dance, would you..."

"If I would go with you? Is this it?"

"… Yeah," she looked embarrassed to admit it.

"Well," I started. _Come on, Jungeun, you have to start from somewhere_ , I repeated to myself. And when I noticed, my arms were circling her wide hips and covering the blonde's black leggings, moving up to her thin hips, squeezing them with some lightness. I brought her closer to me, causing her to drop the damn broom and let it fall to the floor. My movements were observed; her eyes on me. "It depends. Is this how you had planned to invite me? Because if it is, you would have gone alone."

She didn't like the answer and my shoulders got two slaps. I laughed because, heavens, she was so weak.

"Moron!" A little pout formed in her mouth. "Don't even joke with that, Lippie."

"Right. It's not like I'm a joker, anyway,” I sighed. "To be honest, I don't know, JinSoul. I don't like dances. It's not something that would be on my list of things to do before I die, you know?" Her features started to unravel. " _But_ , if you wanted to go with me, I would try to accompany you. Yerim would force me to, I bet."

"Really?" She smiled, her eyes, as always, giving everything away.

What the fuck, _why am I thinking like this?_

"Yeah, I think so."

"Can I... Can I ask you something else?"

"You're already asking. But yes, I suppose so."

"You... Have you ever had anyone? Romantically speaking? Before me, I mean."

"Are you saying we're romantically together?" My irony makes her face wither. Okay, I got it wrong. No ironies. _My bad._ "I'm kidding, Soulie."

Her face wrinkled as if she found what she just heard funny. "What did you call me?"

"JinSoul, of course," I played dumb. Where did that cringe nickname come from?! "It's your name!"

"No, you didn't say that," she was almost laughing. Her arms reached my neck and her tongue teased between her smile. That particular gesture was starting to make me nervous.

"Yes, it was. It was exactly what I said! Don't be an asshole."

"Okay, Lippie," if she hadn't given in, we wouldn't end the discussion anytime soon. "But you didn't answer me."

I took a breath without knowing how to tell her, explain my relationship with Haseul, who had stopped completely in the sexual sense some time ago.

"Romantically? No, I never... I never dated or even got close to that," I lied as well as I could, completely terrified by the subject — _traumatized_ is a better word to use. But that wouldn't get in the way of what we're starting, after all, so it wasn't that bad. Not enough, I mad it worse. "There was no emotional involvement."

"So... Have you had other types of relationships?"

I knew she didn't want the answer to that question, but I still answered it. "Yes."

"Okay," JinSoul didn't seem to be upset, but she tried to free herself from me and I pulled her even closer, hugging her. Her warmth mixed with mine and it was funny, I noticed, how she always carried that smell of sea breeze.

"I know I'm not very open about things," she pretended to scratch her throat. "Okay, I'm not open about anything. But if you bring it up, if you ask me what you want to know... Well, I'll try to answer."

Only _if_ , I should have added. If Jung JinSol didn't ask, I wouldn't tell.

The blonde surprised me by pulling her chin off my shoulder and sticking our lips together, too fast to let me predict her actions. "Thank you, Lippie."

It wasn't too bad. And, half an hour later, even with our bodies tired and both crying out for a bath, we decided to spend an hour being heated by the air conditioning of Jung JinSol's car, devouring all the snacks she managed to buy in the machine before the Aquarium closed and talking about whatever her anxious head made her ask me. I knew that the delay would bring me further problems with Grimes — and endless questions from Yerim —, but she didn't need to know that and I wasn't caring enough to rush her. She could talk for hours and I would listen — I would try to, since it was the fairest thing to do considering the help that the mayor's daughter was giving me in terms of unlocking my limits, destroying my walls.

Slow movements, small steps. One thing at a time, in my own time. Still, they were movements. Still, they were steps.

I stayed that night because JinSoul asked me to.


	9. Winter; Jungeun and Hyejoo's cousin

I looked back only to see Yerim and her laziness. Her shoulders were down and her expression tired. She squeezed herself into Hyejoo's coat — which she had taken for herself — and stared at the floor with less and less energy.

_I told her so. Now, what a pity._

It was almost three in the morning and the walk was just under two hours ago: the pink Hello Kitty watch on my wrist said so. The asphalt of the road made our sneakers even more weary while the only light that helped us distinguish the lane from the shoulder came from the huge streetlights. The night wasn't full of fog, but the streets were still too dark. The road map of the city in my hand was illuminated by the flashlight that Yerim snuck from Park Chaewon's keychain this morning, and guided us to our destination.

"Are we getting there yet?" She asked for what I thought was the fifth time.

"See it for yourself," I replied, and Choerry sighed as she grabbed my hand and stopped me, looking hopefully at the walls of the big factory that was beginning to appear in our field of view, not far from where we were.

"Honestly, my feet thank you!"

"Don't miss the beat now, Yerim," I didn't expect her to agree and pulled her arm off the runway onto the sandy ground that preceded the factory.

We ran to the metal gates, but we had to go around the building because there was no way to get in by front. Luckily or not (I didn't doubt anything at that point), a window on the second floor was open and, thanks to Choerry's porridge muscles, I had to propel her up and trust that she would be competent enough to find the stairs and open the door for me to enter, since she didn't have the strength to do it with me.

Half an hour later; yes, she did it, and the narrow metal rectangle welcomed me to the industry.

"What are we really looking for?" Her voice sounded careful behind me. I had returned to leading the way with the flashlight again in my hand.

"Dolls, Yerim. We're after some kind of dolls," the strangest phrase I have ever said, although true.

As a child, I didn't have dolls to play with, not even a Suzy. Miss Marvel — the former social worker in charge of the orphanage, at least until she had enough money to open her own restaurant in Napa — used to say that constructive toys were the only ones we should be interested in, never spending the city hall funds on carts, plastic buckets or dolls. I never complained because there was Yerim, and Marvel let us cross the neighborhood to visit the municipal park.

But, I think, after soluble fish, tennis balls and bat pads, children's dolls were not so unusual. I wouldn't have to break into a guarded place like the Eden Club, or somewhere as risky as Mayor Ha's office.

"Lippie," she called. "Has Haseul given you any other information? Like, a specific section or a particular doll?"

I sighed because she had a point. I'm used to the lack of specification in the demands of the chief of Haseul, but Yerim was not, and that was understandable, "No, Yerim, she didn't."

"So how are we supposed to find-"

"Look for suspicious things," I interrupted. "Any sign that there's something wrong, or something too right."

We decided to separate because one of the dolls we found on the floor lit up when we shook its right hand, so Yerim used it to guide herself to the opposite side, while I found corridors and more corridors of toys packed for transportation. It didn't even look like the factory had been abandoned for two years, when the owner, an Australian businessman, had a falling out with a Los Angeles gang. The place had been maintained, despite everything, very well, given the state of affairs.

I kept walking, this time to the north, and found another door. (Heavens, what kind of architect had planned that damn place? It was a factory, not a maze!) I opened it while ignoring all my thoughts and found a command room. To add to my suspicions, computer screens showed images from security cameras, empty chairs and a glass of tea — half full — rested on a white napkin. The images on the screens shone in the dark room and it made my whole body shiver.

"Shit," I murmured, running to reach the keyboards and use all the knowledge that Mr. Stephen had given me during his three years of high school in his Computer classes to erase the recordings and turn off the cameras. "Yerim!"

With the job done, I ran outside to find my partner, shouting out her name and handing my location to whoever was there. I had gotten ourselves into a big mess and, again, I heard sirens, but luckily, or not so lucky, they were from the factory itself, from the security alarm.

My heart beat faster and my legs ran faster. I would have no way of explaining a second invasion to the police, especially in the case of a _private_ building.

"Lippie!" I heard Yerim's voice callling from not so far. I followed it and found her running, too, but with her hands full. "I found it!" She said, smiling. I took her arm and headed to the back door, her lazy body struggling to keep up with my speed. "What's happening? What did you touch?"

She had finally noticed the annoyingly loud sound that gnawed at our ears. However, my lungs were too busy to manage enough air for an answer, my subconscious focused on getting us out of there. I relaxed only when I heard the sound of the metal door closing behind us, our feet already treading grass and dry land around the building, and her arm forced a stop.

"Kim Jungeun, explain something!" She screamed.

I used the seconds to draw more air and raised my hand to ask her to wait.

Already far enough, I rested my hands on my knees, my head facing my own legs, and started, "It wasn't me, Yerim. Someone set the security alarm."

Her eyes widened at my answer, her head divided on looking at me and the factory a few feet from us, "What the hell! What do we do now?"

"I don't know what happened there, but," I stood up correctly, drawing in a heavy breath. "We can't go back. What did you find?"

She lifted the two dolls, one in each of her hands, twenty centimeters high and dressed in hot pink.

"Choerry, these are exactly the same dolls in every corridor."

"I know!" She seemed to be calling me stupid inside her head, or so she seemed. "But, look," she handed me both. "These are heavy and were in unsealed boxes, as if they had just been placed there."

In order to check her logic, I handed her one and took the head from the one left in my hand. Its interior was filled with a strange dust, and when I touched it, I remembered the texture of the fish in the mayor's office, and how strangely heavy the tennis balls I stole from Club Eden during the holidays were.

"I think you're right," I put the plastic member back into the toy's body and held out the paper map I'd softened in my hands. "We can't stay here, though. We're still too close from the factory. There's a night club not far from here, I think. We can rest our feet before returning home."

Since my friend did not question, I understood her tired sigh as an act of conformity and indicated the way, going southwest and walking for almost another half hour, this time with a slow step so that Yerim would not leave my side.

The Cinnamon ‘N Roses bar was a one-story building with wooden walls. Only the entrance was illuminated by the sign — the letters C, M and E no longer flashed — and the small rectangular parking lot in front of it was occupied by seven motorcycles and two old car models. The few glass windows, all closed, showed the orange lamp inside, and we entered it without thinking twice.

The scattered tables were mostly empty, with two or three of them occupied by old men and women and their leather clothes and red bandanas, a variety of glasses and mugs with alcoholic drinks rested on the tables or in their hands, and everyone looked at us when we stepped in, as if wondering why the hell two teenagers were in such a remote place at such an unusual time.

It wasn't like I _wanted_ to be there, anyway.

The liquor stand was run by a man and a woman, both showing off their tattoos on their bare arms, and I recognized a figure sitting on the bench parallel to the counter, another stranger at his side.

"Soyeon?" I took a risk, and the figure, who had previously turned her back to me, turned around with a surprised and friendly smile.

"Jungeun," her eyebrows furrowed and I approached with Yerim. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question," I replied, but Soyeon just laughed.

"I came to visit the family, you know how it is. Winter vacation and all," I always forget that the girl is already in college. "I stopped by to drink something. Driving for so long is not very pleasant. And you, what's _your_ excuse?

"Chemistry work," Yerim thought quickly and I thanked her for it. Perhaps her theater classes at the municipal arts center were having some effect. "I have this wrok, you know? The teacher is unfortunate, he sent me to collect some samples of gasoline from the gas stations. Jungeun was helping me, but we got lost and here we are now."

Soyeon murmured something in understanding and pointed to the girl beside her, "This is Becky, my roommate in the campus dorm," she introduced.

"Hello," Becky said. Her eyes were a beautiful brown, loaded with eyeliner, and her lips were well drawn. Her black hair stretched to her shoulders and her clothes showed how much she liked jeans. I bet she was even smaller than Chaewon. "It's Rebecca, actually. Rebecca Gomez. But you can call me Becky."

"I'm Yerim and this is Jungeun!" She shook hands with the elder and I imitated her. "Soojin came with you too? She promised me to buy me a McDonald's last time."

"Nah," Soyeon took a sip of her drink, finishing the glass. "We brokoe up. She was doing an exchange for six months, you know how it is. And she's still in love with her ex, so it was the best thing to do. We can talk about this McDonald's thing some time, though."

"I am really sorry."

"Relax, Yerim. We didn't really date, we were just... Enjoying ourselves? But the girls put pressure on us and it kind of worked. We're fine, if you want to know, we still talk a lot."

"Why are you carrying this?" Becky asked, her confused expression bordering on humor. "My cousin has a doll like that."

"We found it near Tindle Winkle," I lied. "We'll take it to the orphanage."

"Oh, I see it," she smiled. "Nice of you. Soyeon did say something about the orphanage. You're from there, aren't you?"

I sat down next to her and didn't need to tell Yerim to follow me. Another minute of standing and I was sure her body would fall apart on the floor.

"Sadly, yes."

"Do you want something?" She returned to question, intentionally changing the subject. I had no problem talking about the orphanage, neither did Yerim, but Becky didn't know that. "Wait, how old are you?"

"Yerim is a minor," I lied. "And I'm not much of a drinker.'

"Water, then."

We gladly accepted the bottles of water and shared a portion of chips. I was happy with the way Soyeon seemed to be taking things with Soojin. I don't know if I would react the same way, and the girl was really cool. She had been my salvation on the night of the slumber party at JinSoul's house.

However, with a few minutes of conversation, Becky's interest in Soyeon was clear under my eyes and the college student had shown herself to be someone nice to be around.

"Are you from here?" I asked. "From California, I mean."

Becky laughed, "Yes and no. I'm from Mexico, but I moved to Los Angeles at a very young age. It's the tan, isn't it? It hands me over,” I nodded. "I really like the beach."

"You'll get used to Loonaville in no time," Yerim commented . "Beach is all we have."

Her yawn was not long in coming and Soyeon looked at me intently. She knew there was more to the situation than we had let her know, I was sure, but she didn't dare to ask.

"We're going home. Do you want a ride?" She offered. "I'm driving."

"You? With a car?"

"Yeah, Jungeun. Days of struggle, days of glory,” she mocked. "Becky is not a motorcycle fan."

"Honestly, you just saved our lives!"

My friend's excitement when she realized that she wouldn't have to walk for another two hours to get home sounded a little desperate, causing laughter between us and a new suspicious look from Hyejoo's cousin.

Suspiciously or not, we accepted the ride and Choerry fell asleep as soon as she sat in the back seat, her head resting in my shoulders and her body thrown badly against the upholstery.

It had been a long night for both of us.

+++

"Turn the damn television off, Yeji, or turn down the volume," I said for what felt like the fourth time that morning. The girl was addicted to the some TV program and seemed to be trying to redeem the bad image on the screen by putting it on the maximum volume. Seulgi, her older sister, looked at me angrily for the rudeness, but I ignored it.

The Kang sisters had been taken in by the orphanage two weeks ago, when their parents suffered a car accident and had to be admitted to the hospital, where they continue to this day. Since their grandparents, their only living relatives, still live in Korea, and the news takes some time to reach the other side of the world, the system had determined their stay with us until further notice.

They were unaccustomed to our lifestyle, and the shock was being traumatizing. I didn't care much for that, though.

I was in the living room, sitting on the couch with my jacket — the one JinSoul had given me —, a gray sweater and black leggings, waiting for Choerry to arrive from school so we could go to Olivia's house, as promised, because it was time to attend some sign language classes.

Due to the events of last night, I was unable to sleep for even a minute, having to skip school to make up for the lost sleep and get some rest. I took advantage of the lunch hour, when Grimes left to visit the restaurant of a couple of friendsof hers two streets away, to meet with Haseul and deliver the damn dolls.

When I asked about it, she swore she didn't know about the factory not being as abandoned as it looked, and promised that she would report to the boss when she delivered it to them. I didn't say anything else because I knew that if it was the case that she knew something, Haseul would have told me. Like, for sure.

A pillow thrown on my arm made me lose focus and I almost put myself on top of Seulgi to attack her.

"Someone's honking and it's not for me," she pointed to the window, where I could see the same car that had left me here during the night.

I was surprised to see her there, but still got up and said goodbye, getting into Soyeon's car after correctly locking the orphanage gate.

"What are you doing here?"

"Yerim went home with Olivia. They went to McDonald's for lunch and Hye is going to lend her some clothes to take a shower. They asked me to pick you up,” she explained, steering the vehicle out of my neighborhood.

"Got it."

It didn't take long for her to speak again, "Will you tell me what happened yesterday? Yerim's acting really sucks."

_I knew it._

"Nothing you have to worry about."

"Is that so?" She raised her eyebrows. "Because I spoke to Kim Hyojong today and he said the Tindle Winkle alarm went off until five in the morning. He asked me if I had seen anything weird or unusual since I spent some good hours in a relatively close bar. Quite a coincidence, don't you think?"

I froze on the inside because Soyeon was too smart, too logical, and if she found out about my background at the police station, especially now with her new friendship with the city sheriff, she would put two and two together and I'd quickly be screwed.

"You can't tell anyone," I started, looking for direct eye contact. 'I'm serious, Soyeon. It's more complicated than it seems."

"I figured it would be."

And I told her everything and a little more.


	10. Winter; Jungeun and the dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's the Winter Race, and then they have a dance. It's pretty cute.

"Go, Choerry!" Hyejoo shouted beside me, her voice powerful enough to make my ears hurt. Her girlfriend imitated her, waving the encouraging poster even higher without a hint of shame for attracting so much attention.

We were standing in the bleachers of the school's outer court, watching Yerim complete her route in the Winter Race with other students from rival teams. Chaewon had strongly embraced the concept of cheering, making us paint our faces purple and blue in support of JinSoul and Yerim. Vuvuzelas, whistles and shouts were loudly polluting that Friday, and if it weren't for the couple's apparently endless disposition, I would be far away complaining about being out of bed on an academic day that didn't require a mandatory presence.

Another shrill cry from Hyejoo sounded and I had to cover my ears so I wouldn't lose my hearing. On the track, Yerim was already standing, her hands on her knees and her breathing obviously intense. The blue testimony that she previously carried in her right hand was with JinSoul now, who led the second part of the race centimeters away from Jeon Heejin.

A little further on, in the parallel bleachers, I couldn't believe what my eyes were showing me. Someone _had_ to be kidding me.

"Chaewon," my voice almost broke, but she didn't hear it. I pulled her hair behind Hyejoo's body to get her attention. "Who's that? Over there, in the front row?"

"With the shirt ‘Go, Heejin!’?" I nodded positively. "It'sKim Hyunjin. She's Heejin's half sister, she works at the police station. They say she's been trying to get the sheriff's job for years, but I don't know. Why?"

"Nothing," I murmured. _Crap._

Chaewon got disinterested in the matter in a matter of seconds and went back to cheering for her best friend, who had been passed by Jeon, now even more committed to her screams.

I would never understand the enmity between JinSoul and Heejin. They are both beautiful, rich and influential, they have everything to form a meaningful friendship in Loonaville. That war, driven by the status quo and popularity, was unnecessary, since the only one with reason enough to dislike both was me, and yet I seemed to be in a loving relationship with one of them and without any interest in the life of the other.

Anyway, without Heejin in JinSoul's group, It would be one less patrician to be shoved into my life, so it wasn't that bad.

"Jung JinSol!" I joined the grandstand choir without even realizing it, her name being repeated over and over again by half of the student viewers there, competing with the crowd of Jeon Heejin, on the other side of the court. Everyone knew what the dispute truly was now and seemed to have already chosen their sides; the other participants no longer mattered.

The crowd had been a step bigger than my legs had drawn and it had given me a comical look from Chae and a laugh from Hyejoo. I wanted to throw both of them from where they were to see their bodies rolling down benches for daring.

However, our screams weren't quite enough, because Heejin reached the finish line first, breaking the red ribbon with her thin, short silhouette, and s huge smile on her face. Shin Ryujin, her partner, ran up to the girl and squeezed her waist, her strong arms swirling her like a doll.

Hyejoo caught my eye by grabbing my arm and motioned for me to follow. We went down the bleachers with all our classmates moving chaotically, causing Chaewon to almost fall and her girlfriend's frustrated grunts, as Olivia used her strength to keep the three of us together on our way to the school locker room, where Yerim and JinSoul would be. But our entrance was barred by Kwon Yuri, the school's Physical Education teacher, who held a clipboard in her hands and a cord with an unnecessarily large whistle in the neck. Her colorful and glued clothes reminded me of the uniform of the city postmen.

"Only participants can enter, girls. Sorry,” she explained, her head following her speech.

We had to wait under the sun's rays that failed to warm us up, the cold announcing the high winter season, and the girls' delay took us another ten minutes on foot. When they finally left the locker room, they appeared to be clean, already in new and neat clothes — Yerim with a set of jeans and a purple long-sleeved blouse that I was sure I had won from JinSoul — and carried discouraged expressions.

"Oh, come on," I said, ignoring Hyejoo and Chaewon's encouraging cries. "You won't be upset because you didn't win a stupid race, will you?"

"It's not because we didn't win," Yerim tried. "It's because _Jeon Heejin_ won."

JinSoul's face sulked even more when she heard the rival's name, "She cheated, that's what happened! Making a member of the racing team her pair was not fair."

"I agree! And she is a cheerleader herself, why the hell did she have to sign up for the race too?"

"Come on, that's not fair," Hyejoo scolded for their discontent. "Everyone can apply, there is no such rule."

"And you're only like that because you don't know how to lose," I pointed out, crossing my arms. "I lose the discussions for you all the time and nobody sees me like that."

Chaewon laughed, "Kim... You _complain_ about it all the time."

"But it's not because I lost. I complain because you all are almost almost unbearable and love to be on my toes. It's different."

"Enough!" Yerim shouted with her extreme gestures. "I'm tired. Someone please feed me!"

Her speech softened the climate of defeat and Hyejoo opened her arms, welcoming a hungry and cold Choi Yerim. Chaewon soon joined them, followed by JinSoul, but I just kept looking at them, one eyebrow raised.

"Will you guys start walking or will we be hungry forever?"

"Oh, Lippie, come on," JinSoul came over to me and grabbed my hand, her head dangling from my shoulder. "Don't ruin our cuddly moment of love."

I preferred not to say that a cute moment, in my opinion, was far from that kind of sloppy hug they just improvised, and I let her guide me to the parking lot, with Hyejoo reassuring Yerim how well she had done and Chaewon with hand in hand with both of them, one on each side. We got in the car and arrived at Olivia's house in a few minutes, just in time to see Soyeon and Becky getting on the Mexican's car and waiting for us at the entrance of the house to put on their belts. They would go to the mall to buy something, as they had said.

Hyojong, Hyejoo's father, appeared at the window shouting at us to come in as soon as he heard us arrive, waving his white cloth and then returning it to his shoulder. He owned a restaurant based in New York and Massachusetts, but opted for a calmer life in the interior of California, where he lived with Hyuna, his wife and Hyejoo's stepmother, and his eldest daughter. Jeon Soyeon, his brother's daughter, who was studying Computer Engineering at a nearby college, was also, in a way, part of the house.

From what Chaewon had told Yerim, they were crazy about having a second child, but Hyuna had been having trouble getting pregnant thanks to an old depression that had affected her reproductive system due to hormone-regulating drugs, which fully explained Hyejoo's obsession with Yeojin. With children, I mean.

They were adults that I especially got along with, in short; something very difficult to get from me, and they let us have lunch alone, just before Chaewon's father came to pick her up, taking JinSoul with her. It was agreed between us that we would get dressed separately after Jung JinSol's insistent speeches for her and Chaewon to make some suspense about her clothes.

In particular, I couldn't care less about what they would wore, but their opinions were made up and they were decided not to give in. Unfortunately for Hyejoo, I was willing to accept anything that would enable me to have a silent lunch.

I didn't, however: Yerim grunted because she couldn't go with the blondes, and didn't stop not even when she had food in her mouth.

(...)

"We are back!" Becky announced when entering Hyejoo's room, Soyeon right behind, while Olivia tried to use her talents of plastic artist to make up Yerim and I relaxed unconcernedly on the dark sheets after a hot shower.

Yerim, without moving her head, used her hands to warn Hyejoo about the news and the girl turned around.

"You took too long," she commented.

"We know. But it was necessary, I had some things to buy."

"A list, if you want to know," Soyeon completed Becky's speech by rolling her eyes. She held only one bag while the Mexican had put a minimum of seven on the floor.

Hyejoo stood up and pointed the brush at Becky, who took it without understanding.

"I'm not very good at that. Chaewon is the one who likes these things, and since you're always wearing makeup…" Her cheeks flushed and she looked away. "Do you think you can do it?"

Becky's face lit up in seconds, like Yeojin's when we told her about JinSoul's pool, and her small body vibrated against the chair in excitement; her little head probably already creating the looks she would do in each one of us, and her beginning her work in Yerim.

A new pair of pants had been promised to me as a bargaining chip for all this production, so I was calm about whatever they did to me.

"Hey, yo," Soyeon called, propping one knee up on the bed and looking at me. "Here."

She offered me the bag that had come into her hand, making me lean on my elbows to see it clearly. The rest of the girls didn't even pay attention to what was going on around them, even though I knew that Choerry, curious and talkative as she was, would ask about it later, and Hyejoo withdrew into her bathroom.

I looked at the bag and then at her, my eyebrows raised, understanding what it was and what it meant. I took a look at its contents, "You know you're not responsible for me, right?"

Soyeon rolled her eyes and got closer, her body scooping up on the mattress to lie down next to mine. She took advantage of my surprise to thread the plastic handle on my fingers, her arms gripping one of mine.

"Relax there, Kim. It's fine."

I couldn't argue with Jeon Soyeon.

+++

Saint Olivia's Belvedere had never been so beautiful before.

The space had a large courtyard with a smooth stone floor at the top of the mountain range, close to the mountain road, on the borders of Loonaville, where you could see the entire city and the coast beyond, the high front being protected by a stone wall of about ninety centimeters, where an old viewpoint rested, like the telescope in Soyeon's room.

Dozens of luminous particles lit up the place, very well attached to the top of the stone pillars, their yellowish tone bringing life and remnants of the joy that had moved JinSoul and Chaewon to prepare all that; just like towels randomly stuck to the corners. Two tables were put together in one of the sides, both covered by a long gray towel that carried a stack of red cups and trays with snacks; a blue cooler rested on the floor.

"Wow," Yerim murmured beside me; admired eyes and dreamy smile on when she got out of the car right after me.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Wow."

Park Chaewon stretched out in white heels beside one of the pillars, her hair meticulously arranged and the skirt of her black dress falling from the waist to her knees. Her passionate smile was fixed on Son Hyejoo, who blushed when she realized she was the victim of her girlfriend's attention. Beside her was Yeojin, in a lovely pink dress, with her hair tied up in a hairstyle so weird that only she could wear it.

Hyejoo, being still unresponsive, was approached by Yerim, who grabbed her arm to lead her to the blonde.

JinSoul, on the other hand, was adjusting the tripod to position the camera at the desired angle, too committed to her task to notice the movement we made when parking, so only her bare back — except for the waistband — was visible to us.

"Hurry up, Kim," Soyeon induced the porter with a smile that, in the past, would have made me distribute arrogant comments to whoever was in front of me.

 _But I'm trying now_ , I forced my brain to remember. I was trying and I had to continue to; not only for me, but for my promise to Yerim, for the vision of ever getting out of this city without losing her and Yeojin. So I took a deep breath and walked over, the black boots Hyejoo had lent me making brief sounds as I touched the floor.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

JinSoul jumped in fright, putting her hand over her heart when she looked at me, "Help me, God! Lippie! Don't do that anymore, you gave me a big scare."

I raised my eyebrows to speak, then noticing the beautiful silhouette that the navy blue cloth defined in stretching, the bare shoulders and the neck decorated with crystalline stones. Her full lips shone with the colorless gloss and the blond strands fell in their natural undisturbed curls, a single braid attached to her scalp, adorned with blue ribbons, set her apart from normal.

She was beautiful.

"Nice curtain," I commented, pointing to the fabric that decorated the nonexistent wall, realizing what I had said seconds after the words left my mouth. _Geez, I'm an idiot._

"Oh," the red occupied her cheeks. "Chae and I thought some decor would be nice. And so, we can all take pictures! As if we were really at the ball, you know?"

I nodded to her, hugging her waist because, for me, acting was proving to be easier than talking, "You guys did a great job."

She smiled, her arms reaching for my shoulders, and her eyes fled to my lips.

"You have lipstick on," she comically said. "I thought I would never see you dressed up like that."

"Did you like what you saw?" I teased.

"I always do- I-I mean- I-"

"Breathe, JinSoul. You're a mess with compliments," I laughed.

Her features hardened, her smile broken, "Said the girl who praised the curtain!"

"It's a beautiful curtain."

"It's just a curtain, Kimberly, who cares?!"

Her tone made me laugh and I didn't even want to believe that she was taking it seriously.

"You realize you're jealous of a piece of cloth, right?" I remembered her, bringing her even closer and our faces almost touching. The familiar watermelon scent was already touching my nostrils.

"I'm not jealous, don't be..." Her speech stopped when she noticed my intentions. The tone of her voice lowered until it was no longer heard, and our lips touched, the citrusy taste of her gloss attacking my tongue while the red of mine colored hers.

As much as I didn't want to compare, as much as I didn't like it, it was faster than me, inevitable: different emotions invaded me when I kissed Jung JinSol and Jo Haseul. With Haseul, all I felt in the last time was desire, lust; the desire to take her and listen to her while I did it. But, with JinSoul, my stomach turned and my hair stood on end. I wanted to feel the lightness of her skin touching me, the scent of her neck invading my throat and her loving eyes on me. A feeling not unlike for what I felt for Haseul, though, long ago.

Nothing was right in my life, nothing was defined; however, my subconscious made me believe that, yes, I was fine at that moment. I was at peace as I kissed JinSoul and noticed her melting at my touch, as much as my body responded to hers.

"Hey, couple! Will you want a drink?" Becky's voice came from behind us, making the blonde's arms I held tremble and her face go away in embarrassement.

"You look better than the curtain, JinSoul."

"I think we better..."

I didn't need her to finish her sentence to understand what she meant, and I nodded, although my fingers never left her waist.

"Lippie..." She insisted without being able to hold her eyes up to mine for many seconds in a row.

She ended up kissing me again and, noticing my fuss, started walking with me close to her, almost causing a fall for both of us when she tripped over her own foot. I pulled away laughing as I heard her angry screams.

"You suck, Jungeun," Yerim teased, handing me a red cup.

'Yeah, I know."

Once Yerim had promised to stay by my side for the night, all it took was a gesture from Hyejoo for her to leave me without even looking back to join the brunette, who was shaking her body to the sound of some pop music alongside Becky and Yeojin. (I hadn't even noticed that the music box was on until that very moment.) I rolled my eyes at the scene and took advantage of the moment to take a look at the view provided by the viewpoint, placing my eyes on the equipment's binoculars, an incredibly vast and luminous view waiting for me.

When I arrived in the city, this was the first place I visited. It wasn't supposed to happen, but the car of the social worker who was responsible for my transfer ran out of gas after an hour of spillage on the road, and we were forced to stop. Luckily, the driver spotted the Belvedere courtyard and they allowed me to play around while they solved the technical problems.

I don't remember much of my childhood before Loonaville, only specific moments, but the image of that day is still clear enough in my mind. I found a coin on the floor and used it to look at the landscape, falling in love with the city soon after; the beach, all the colorful signs I could see, the big houses. Everything was very different from where I grew up, and everything enchanted me, until I actually started to live in the orphanage and understand my new reality.

I have returned to the place a few times since then, the first two alone, and the rest of them with Yerim, since she had become my roommate and, consequently, my life partner.

"I didn't think you're a dresses person," Chaewon commented, her voice pulling me out of my daydreams and allowing me to notice that she was beside me now, also holding a red cup.

I imitated her in position as I stepped away from the viewpoint and supported my waist on the edge of stones.

"I'm not," I confirmed. "But Soyeon didn't know that and I didn't have the courage to tell her."

"It was a gift?"

"Yeah," her ironic laugh was contained and I moved restlessly. "What is it?"

"So you do have a heart, after all. I didn't think you were sensitive to that point."

"You've been thinking too much about me, Park," I raised my eyebrows, realizing just afterwards how rude it had sounded.

The blonde moved uncomfortably, as if she wanted to end the conversation, taking over her spoiled Loonaville princess pose — the one she had recently been working to undo; and then I tried again.

"I'm not that extreme," I scolded. "Not anymore," I looked for the freshly dyed purple hair, idea, of course, of Jeon Soyeon, finding it behind Hyejoo's body. "I care about Yerim and Yeojin, for example."

Chaewon cleared her throat, her gaze fixed on her drink. "And JinSoul?" Her eyes trapped me. "Do you care about JinSoul?"

I lifted my face to reach the body covered by the blue dress, the girl who smiled elegantly and risked disordered dance steps without caring if she was doing it well or not, just enjoying the moment to have fun.

Of course, it didn't compare to how much I felt for Yerim or the brat with the funny hair, or even Haseul, but, yeah; I cared about Jung JinSol.

"You can say that, yes," JinSoul's brown reached me and she shook my head. Biting my bottom lip, I turned to Chaewon. "Hold it for me, will you?"

I walked away without waiting for an answer, leaving my cup on her hand and approaching JinSoul, taking her hands and attention to me.

"You could have asked to dance with me. You know,” she murmured, her voice as soft as her lips. I laughed because I could never imagine being delicate to that point.

"Dreaming has never been forbidden, Soulie."

There it was; the damn nickname again. I wanted to tear out my own throat when I heard it in my voice, not understanding how it had even left my lips. Worse: how did I manage to repeat it.

"You can keep calling me that," she said, her face again too close to mine. "I don't mind. Not in a negative way, at least."

I took a deep breath, "I don't... I'm not that kind of person, you know? Who invites to dance, who uses nicknames, who goes on romantic dates. I'm not like that."

"Maybe you didn't realize it before, but I think you are, Lippie," she was sweet enough not to leave my eyes, stroking my hands and then placing them on her waist. "Chaewon didn't make you dance with me, did she?"" I shook my head. "Nor did she, or anyone, made you kiss me or call me Soulie. Nobody ever called me that, if I'm telling the truth."

I shut up myself up at her speech, biting my cheek to keep from saying something poisonous by momentary impulse. My breathing was heavy and I know JinSoul noticed it; however, she said nothing about it and rested her chin on my shoulder, relaxing against me.

The conclusion I came to, after moments of overwhelming reasoning as our little party revolved around me, was that she was right. Nobody had forced me to do anything. But then, if nobody did it, why did _I_ do it?

Damn it. Fuck the promise to Yerim. Fuck Jung JinSoul. Fuck falling for Jung JinSoul.

Wait. _Oh, shit._

I stopped in place with my new finding. When the blonde noticed my static body, she moved away slightly and looked at me, looking for some answer. She couldn't see me on the inside, but I, on the other hand, was sure that everything inside her at that moment was all about calm, affection and pleasure, and I loved it when I managed to absorb such sensations from her like that. This happened in almost all the scenes we lived together and a considerable weight left my back.

I had told Yerim once that I liked how I felt about myself when I was with JinSoul, and that couldn't be more true, but it was so far from my normal that it was impossible not to fear it.

A lot was going on in my mind at the same time, many doubts bubbling up, many principles to be questioned. I knew that if I could afford to debate them for a second, I would get out of there as soon as possible. So I forced impulsiveness.

"You may not be the queen of the Loona High Winter Ball, but," I took more breath to be able to complete my sentence; her eyes still fixed on mine. "You are mine."

JinSoul smiled, gratefully this time, grabbing my face with her hands and taking my lips for herself, her actions flooded with will and passion, an inner warmth that made it grow even in significant restlessness.

I needed her not to back down so I could _stay_.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and/or comments will be very much appreciated! 
> 
> i have a twitter account, in case you guys wanna chat a little, and i'm always around! :) be well and healthy, everyone! have a great week.


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